


Orlando is Only Home When it Has You

by Heath17_KO5



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:08:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 33,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22293304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heath17_KO5/pseuds/Heath17_KO5
Summary: Sonny doesn’t like feeling small. She thinks that’s part of why she’s so boisterous all the time, the ultimate hype woman. She thinks it’s part of what fuels her quest to become a meme. She wants to be larger than life. She wants to take up space. She wants to be remembered. She wants-Well, she wants a lot of things.Most notably, right now, she wants the phone call with Mark that she just hung up from to be a fever dream rather than a reality. She wants to feel less like a pawn in someone else’s game and more like her own master.a.k.a. Sonny gets traded to Orlando and Kelley does what she can to help her feel better about it, but Sonny has some underlying feelings that complicate matters.
Relationships: Kelley O'Hara/Emily Sonnett
Comments: 66
Kudos: 378





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blake0tyler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blake0tyler/gifts).

> This follows the real timeline up to a point, but I ignored today's roster drop in favor of not having to do rewrites with a migraine and also for plot - it is just fiction, after all. Also please don't come after me about Kelley and her real life gf cause I love them and think they're adorable and I'm so happy for her. Again - fiction. 
> 
> This is a birthday present for blake0tyler, and if you're NOT reading her stuff you seriously need to be. She's amazing and lovely and I'm lucky to count her as a friend, so happy birthday!  
There will be a part 2 coming at some point in the hopefully not too distant future. 
> 
> It's unbeta'd so all errors are mine. As always, if you like it, let me know. Comments fuel writing.  
xx

Sonny doesn’t like feeling small. She thinks that’s part of why she’s so boisterous all the time, the ultimate hype woman. She thinks it’s part of what fuels her quest to become a meme. She wants to be larger than life. She wants to take up space. She wants to be remembered. She wants-

Well, she wants a lot of things. 

Most notably, right now, she wants the phone call with Mark that she just hung up from to be a fever dream rather than a reality. She wants to feel less like a pawn in someone else’s game and more like her own master. 

She wants to feel valued. 

But she’s at camp and she can’t focus on disappointments. She can’t focus on the things she’ll have to leave behind (or the people). She can’t focus on the places she thought she’d have more chances to visit. She can’t focus on the life she was building that she’ll have to abandon. She can’t focus on the culture there that’s irreplaceable.

It’s the life, technically. She’s always known that, but the Thorns are the only club she’s known as a pro besides an offseason in the W-league. She’s been lucky. 

It had lulled her into a false sense of security, of permanency. 

And now that’s shattered. 

But she’s at camp and Olympic qualifying is just around the corner and she has to be at her best. She has to earn her spot. She has to prove her worth. 

It’d be a lot easier if she felt her own worth right now. 

  
  


She doesn’t tell anyone. Not day one. 

She’s there to focus on the game, on improving techniques, on running drills, on making herself the best player she can be. 

She throws herself into it focusing only on the moment, on the drill, on the task at hand. 

Her crosses are sharp, her kicks are powerful, and she sinks more balls into the back of the net than she’s used to. 

She can feel the people around her notice, but she doesn’t welcome the praise. 

It just makes her feel like a fraud. 

  
  


Tobin finds out first. Mark calls her and gives her a heads up. 

Sonny knows she knows the second she comes down to breakfast the next morning, and suddenly her appetite is gone. 

She turns right around and heads upstairs for some gentle stretching and meditation before practice. She’ll pack some extra protein bars in her bag for later. She’ll be fine. 

Except she’s not, and Tobin knows because she shows up at her door with a firm knock and plate of waffles and fruit. 

“Eat,” she says, pressing the plate into Sonny’s hand when she opens the door and pushing past her into the room, settling on Mal’s bed like its her own. 

“I’m not hungry,” Sonny protests. 

“Eat anyway. Your body needs it,” Tobin advises. 

Sonny plops down at the desk and picks at the waffle with her fork. 

She waits for Tobin to bring it up. She doesn’t want to. She doesn’t want to say the words. If she says them they’re real, and right now she’s living in her national camp bubble. 

Tobin waits for a while, not necessarily watching Sonny, but making her presence felt in a way that only Tobin can.

“Eat,” Tobin urges again as the minutes tick by and Sonny fails to bring the fork to her mouth. 

Sonny sighs and takes a bite, and only then does Tobin mention the real reason she’s there. 

“You’re gonna to great there.”

“I don’t wanna be there,” Sonny replies, hating the way her voice breaks. 

Tobin nods. “You’ll be missed. It won’t be the same without you.”

Sonny bites back the words at the tip of her tongue. Words about how they’ll still all be together. Words about how they’ll still have the best fans and the best atmosphere in the game. Words about how she’ll miss them so much more. Words about how they won’t really miss her at all. 

She takes another bite of her waffle, forcing herself to chew and then swallow, not really noticing the taste. 

“It happens to the best of us, you know. Look at Chris and Houston.”

Sonny nods, but she can’t stop herself from saying, “It doesn’t happen to you.” It’s not meant to sound like such an accusation, but it is, and there’s a slight clenching of Tobin’s jaw that’s all that gives away her hint of annoyance at the words. 

“I paid my dues, Son. This could be good for you. You’ll be closer to home. Al will look out for you. And Ali and Ash. You’ll have one of the best right backs in the country to push you to be even better. You’re gonna shine.”

“For what audience?”

Tobin sighs, but it’s not annoyance this time, it’s acknowledgment. “Orlando has fans too.”

Sonny takes another bite of waffle and Tobin is quiet for a long time. 

“Do you play for the fans? Or do you play for the love of the game?” 

Sonny closes her eyes and breathes in deeply, then lets it out slowly, shakily. “Yeah, okay,” she admits. It wasn’t really a question so much as a reminder. 

She needs to focus on her, on what she can control. 

She needs to pretend her heart isn’t breaking until it isn’t anymore. 

She needs to find the positive. 

“Okay,” she repeats. 

She doesn’t feel any better though. 

  
  
  


Tobin tells Lindsey at Sonny’s request. She tells no one else at Sonny’s request, too. 

Sonny tells Midge when Midge tells her with a forced smile. Sonny sees the same attempt at positivity that she’s been trying to psych herself into since she hung up the phone. 

“To deal with after camp,” Sonny says, and Midge nods. 

In some ways it’s nice to be there. It makes the rest of the world fade away. It gives them a task to focus on and wears them out so sleep comes easy at night. 

In other ways, it feels like they’re putting off the inevitable. 

  
  


Lindsey’s mad. She’s mad and she shoves Sonny after dinner. 

“You should have told me!” she complains. 

Sonny doesn’t meet her gaze. “I couldn’t.”

She thinks for a moment Lindsey’s going to shove her again, but instead she wraps her in a tight hug. 

“I’m sorry, Dasani,” is murmured into her hair and a kiss is placed on her temple and for the first time since she hung up with Mark she feels tears prick her eyes. 

She blinks them back and steps out of the embrace with a shrug that she hopes comes off as nonchalant. She still doesn’t meet Lindsey’s gaze. “It is what it is,” she says with force cheerfulness. 

She leaves before they can make any more of a scene. 

  
  


Mal sleeps over with Rose and Lindsey. She doesn’t know what’s up, but she knows SOMETHING is up, and she’s respectful enough not to pry. 

Except that Sonny kind of wishes she would. 

She kind of wishes that SOMEONE would broach the subject with her. 

She knows that it’s a secret because of her, but she just wants someone else to notice, to make her talk, to force her to open up so that maybe she can do a little bit of dealing before the end of camp while she still has support around her. 

It’s not that she won’t have support at home, but her parents don’t get the life the way her teammates do. 

  
  


“Get up!”

The screech is loud and sudden and then someone is jumping on her bed, jumping on HER. 

She pulls the pillow over her head and groans. 

“Up and at ‘em Sunshine!” 

The pillow gets yanked off of her head and her curtains get thrown open and then Kelley is jumping onto her again. 

“Goooooood morning.”

Sonny glares. She glares at the loudness and at the brightness and at the interruption of her sleep. She glares at Kelley, and Kelley just grins. 

Sonny shuts her eyes and Kelley leans over her, Sonny can feel the shift of weight above her and then Kelley’s breath is hitting her face, minty and fresh, and then-

And then Kelley pokes her closed eyelids. 

“Wakey wakey, sleepy head!” Kelley says with a laugh that falls softly against Sonny’s cheek. 

“It’s an off day. Why are you doing this to me?”

“Because Tobin said the trade’s being announced today and I’ve had enough of your moping.”

Sonny sits up so fast that it almost knocks Kelley off of her. “You know?” 

“We all know. Trades are horribly kept secrets.”

“But nobody-”

“You obviously didn’t want us to know so we pretended we didn’t,” Kelley cuts her off with a shrug. She shifts off of the bed and stands up, then begins to rummage through Sonny’s suitcase. 

Sonny would protest, but it’s Ms. Kelley, and there’s no arguing with her. Not when she’s made up her mind about something. 

Kelley tosses a shirt at her face. “Get dressed. We’re going out.”

She bounces onto Mal’s bed and looks at Sonny expectantly. 

It’s stupid, but Sonny feels suddenly shy. If it was anyone else sitting on the bed across from her she wouldn’t have hesitated, but it’s not. It’s Kelley. And that’s-

Well, that’s something she REALLY needs to not deal with right now. 

She’s dealing with enough. 

“Could you turn around?” 

Kelley gives her a look. It’s a little incredulous and a little sultry and a lot “no”. “Son, we regularly share locker rooms.

Sonny sighs and turns her back to Kelley before stripping off her shirt. She doesn’t say, “yes but I’m always so careful to avert my eyes” she doesn’t say “especially with you.” 

It’s only once her shirt is off that she realizes she has no bra to put on. And now she’s topless. And her suitcase is on the floor at the end of her bed. 

She hopes that Kelley can’t see the blush creeping up her neck. She holds her old shirt to her chest and dives towards the end of her bed, hanging half off of it as she rummages for a bra. 

She hears a snicker from Kelley’s direction, but when she risks a glance, Kelley’s eyes are on the ceiling and her head is tilted away. 

Sonny rushes to pull the bra and the T-shirt on before turning back to Kelley who has a glint in her eyes that makes Sonny’s heart beat just a little bit faster. 

“You ready?”

“Am I allowed to wear shorts? Or do you expect me to just wear my underwear.”

Kelley appears to consider this, and Sonny throws a pillow at her, making her break down into laughter. 

“If you insist,” Kelley replies.

This time she averts her eyes without having to be asked and Sonny pulls on a pair of shorts quickly, still feeling a flush of embarrassment on her cheeks. 

“Okay,” she says, and Kelley looks at her with bright eyes and a smile that Sonny can only classify as suspicious. “Where are you taking me?” 

“It’s a surprise,” Kelley replies. 

“That’s what I’m worried about.”

Kelley throws an arm around her and guides her towards the door. “You’ll be fine. I promise not to get you arrested.”

“Or maimed.”

“Fine, or maimed.” 

“Kelley?” 

“You’ll be fine,” Kelley assures her, letting go of her long enough to open the door and hold it open to her. 

It’s only once they hit the lobby that Sonny realizes that she hasn’t thought about the trade in a good ten minutes. 

  
  
  


“Target? This is our big plans for the day?”

“Hey, don’t knock Target,” Kelley replies pointing an accusing finger. 

Sonny finds herself smiling and she shakes her head. “Okay, what’re we here for?”

Kelley grins back at her. “Target will tell us.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Sonny replies with a chuckle. 

“It’s why you love me.”

Sonny’s breath catches in her throat and her heart beats a little faster, but it’s just a joke. It’s just friendly banter. Kelley doesn’t MEAN anything by it. She doesn’t KNOW. 

It’s not like that anyway.

Not really.

It’s a crush at best.

A really, annoyingly persistent crush. 

It started as a bit of hero worship. She got to play with THE Kelley O’Hara, legend. 

And then Kelley was just so...so…

Kelleyish. 

It was impossible not to get swept up in her orbit. 

And now, years later, nobody makes her blush quite as easily. 

But they’re friends. Nothing more. Just friends.

Besides, Kelley’s taken. Her girlfriend is a sweetheart. She’s happy and Sonny wants her to be happy. 

Someone should be happy.

  
  


“You’re trying this on,” Kelley informs her, pushing a unicorn onesie into her hands. 

“You just brought me because Allie wouldn’t willingly put things like this on, didn’t you?”

Kelley grins. “Maybe. Come on.”

Kelley grabs a llama onesie in one hand and Sonny’s hand in the other and drags her towards the fitting rooms. 

She pulls her into one together and peels off her sweatshirt without hesitation. 

Sonny tries not to notice the strip of toned abs that she gets a glimpse of when Kelley’s shirt pulls up too. 

She tries not to imagine running her hands over them.

She tries to pretend that her mouth hasn’t gone dry over something so small. 

Kelley looks at her expectantly once her sweatshirt is over her head. “Get changed, Son!”

“I’m starting to think you just like seeing me undress,” Sonny jokes, already feeling the familiar flush on her cheeks. 

“Oh, for sure,” Kelley agrees cheerfully, already stepping into the llama onesie. 

Sonny rolls her eyes and toes off her shoes before following suit with the unicorn onesie. Technically she hadn’t needed to take anything off, but the joke and Kelley’s response still make her cheeks feel uncomfortably warm. 

When they’re both dressed, Kelley throws an arm around Sonny and they look in the dressing room mirror. Sonny can’t help but burst out laughing, and Kelley only manages to keep a straight face for a split second longer. 

They pull themselves together long enough to take a picture, both of them throwing up peace signs, faces full of attitude like they don’t look absolutely ridiculous. 

Sonny makes a mental note to make the picture her new lock screen. 

Just because it’s a great picture. Not for any other reason. 

Definitely not.

  
  


“You know what they have in Orlando?” Kelley asks as they browse through puzzles after Kelley had insisted that they should do one while at camp as a group bonding activity. 

Sonny’s been waiting for it, really, but she’s still not ready for it. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Yeah you do,” Kelley argues. “Anyway, do you know what they have there?”

“Disney World?”

“What are you, five? They have Universal Studios!” Kelley declares with a grin. 

“Roller coasters,” Sonny smiles despite herself. 

“Know what else there is in Orlando?”

Sonny frowns. “Are you gonna say something wise like ‘the game you love’?” 

Kelley snorts. “No. I mean, yeah that’s there, but, no, something way more important.”

Sonny wrinkles her nose and gives Kelley a funny look, waiting for her to elaborate. 

Kelley leans in close, eyes bright, and says, “Gatorland!”

Sonny laughs. She has to. “What?”

“You can be a trainer for a day!”

Sonny perks up a bit at that. “Wait, really?” 

Kelley nods, a big grin across her face. 

“Okay, I’m gonna have to do that, then.”

“Exactly!” Kelley declares triumphantly. “Hey look, puppies!” Kelley holds up a thousand piece puzzle with a picture of assorted dogs on it, and just like that the conversation about Orlando is over and Sonny feels minutely better about everything. 

  
  


They don’t head back to the hotel. Sonny’s not sure why she expected them to. They stop for lunch at a vegan cafe and get grain bowls to go, taking advantage of the nice weather to find a place outside to soak in the sun while they eat. 

“Know what else they have in Orlando?” 

Sonny’s halfway through her grain bowl, munching pretty happily, not actually thinking about the trade, and Kelley brings it back up. 

She sighs. “The everglades?” she guesses. 

“Yes, but not what I was going to say. You’re really horrible at guessing. Has anyone ever told you that?”

Sonny laughs and sticks out her tongue. 

“The World of Harry Potter?”

“Still not it, but that is a good one.”

Sonny picks up a nearby stick and waves it with a flourish. “Wingardium Leviosa!” she declares, pointing it at a bird pecking at the ground nearby. 

“It’s Levi-O-sa, not Levio-SA,” Kelley says in her best impression of Hermione. At that the bird flies away and Sonny laughs. 

“Oh shit, it worked.”

“I’m a witch! I knew it!” Kelley beams back. 

“Okay, so what were you gonna say?” Sonny asks when they stop laughing. 

Kelley wiggles her eyebrows at Sonny in a way that makes tension coil low in her gut and for a second she thinks that Kelley is somehow setting her up for an inappropriate joke, but then she’s leaning in conspiratorial and whispering, “The World of Chocolate Museum and Cafe!”

Sonny lets out a low moan at the idea of chocolate, and Kelley raises an eyebrow at her that almost looks suggestive, but Sonny knows she doesn’t mean anything by it. “You realize we have to get chocolate somewhere now.”

“Obviously,” Kelley replies, leaning back and digging back into her grain bowl. 

  
  


“No peeking,” Kelley says, her fingers firmly over Sonny’s eyes. 

Sonny’s trying to, but the slits between Kelley’s fingers aren’t big enough and she’s more than a little distracted by the way that Kelley is practically pressed against her back as they half stagger, half walk towards whatever Kelley is leading her towards. 

She trips over a crack in the sidewalk and they both stumble, Kelley falling into her, and her hand slips. “Kelley!” she shrieks as Kelley catches herself on her, but only by her hand falling squarely onto Sonny’s breast. 

“Sorry!” Kelley declares when they’ve regained their balance, snatching her hand away the first second possible.

Sonny knows her cheeks are bright red and their surprise destination is now the furthest thing from her mind. So is her trade to Orlando because Kelley O’Hara just had her hand on her boob. It doesn’t matter that it wasn’t intentional. It doesn’t matter that it meant nothing. Sonny can still feel the heat on her breast as if Kelley’s hand were still there and it’s making it hard to breathe. 

“Sorry! Didn’t mean to cop a feel,” Kelley says. 

Sonny nods her acceptance of the apology because she doesn’t trust her voice to be level. 

“Anyway, ta da!” Kelley spreads her arms wide in the direction of-

“Manatees??” Sonny squeaks in excitement, recognizing the animals on either side of a sign that says “Entrance” that arches over a wooden walkway. 

“Welcome to the Manatee Viewing Center,” Kelley declares with a grin. 

Sonny legitimately jumps up and down, rushing forward and not bothering to wait for Kelley, already in search of manatees. Manatees! The cows of the sea! And she was going to see them!

Despite the trade news, this might actually be her favorite day ever. 

  
  


“Know what they have in Florida?”

“Manatees,” Sonny replies with a grin plastered on her face that hasn’t left since they first arrived. 

“Ding ding ding! You finally got one right!” Kelley says, nudging her hip into Sonny’s. 

Sonny doesn’t take her eyes off of the manatees lounging in the warm waters. They’re just so big and poofy and cute! That doesn’t mean that she’s suddenly immune to Kelley’s presence beside her, though, especially when Kelley settles a little closer after the hip bump, their arms touching where they’re resting on the railing. If the Florida sun weren’t already keeping her warm, Sonny’s pretty sure that Kelley’s touch would be, and she’s not even trying to. 

Not that it matters. 

She’d never-

Especially not when Kelley has a girlfriend. 

It’s another want, but it’s not one she really acknowledges, and just like her other big want right now, it’s never going to be a reality. 

  
  


“Be honest,” Sonny says when they’re back in her room, starting to piece together the edges of the puzzle on the desk, “did you just like google things to do in Orlando before you came to get me this morning?”

Kelley grins a little sheepishly. “Maaaaaaaybe. Although I’ve done some of those things visiting Al.”

Sonny rolls her eyes and shakes her head, but she can’t stop the smile that’s tugging at the corners of her lips. 

“Speaking of, know what else is in Orlando?” Kelley asks, with a sly grin. 

“Your best friend?” Sonny suggests, knowing full well how close Kelley and Alex are. 

“Yep!” Kelley replies. “Oh, and Alex, too.”

Sonny laughs, but there’s butterflies fluttering in her stomach suddenly, and she thinks that if this trade has Kelley sticking this close to her for a while, it might not be so bad after all. 

Technically they haven’t really talked about anything, but Sonny already doesn’t feel as upset about everything. She wonders if that’ll last when she leaves Kelley’s presence. 

  
  
  


“Hey, Sonnett?” Kelley says loudly enough that Allie looks up when they walk into the room. 

“Yes, Kelley?” Sonny replies, just like they’d rehearsed. 

“How much do you miss me when I’m not around?” Kelley asks, and Allie’s already trying not to laugh. 

“Well, that’s easy. Obviously 15.”

Allie starts laughing but manages to gasp, “10,” between giggles. 

Kelley, somehow maintaining a completely straight face, humphs. 

“15,” Sonny corrects, but she’s cracking. 

“Mmmm...10. Scale is from 1-10,” Allie counters, but it’s barely comprehensible through her laughter. 

“Yeah, so you miss her 15,” Sonny replies before breaking into giggles of her own. 

Kelley finally cracks too as she throws an arm around Sonny. “Allie you’re fired. Sonny’s my new best friend,” but she’s losing her fight not to grin, and Sonny can feel her body shaking in silent laughter where it’s pressed against her own. 

Allie fakes being offended, but soon enough they’re all laughing too hard to maintain it. 

It’s the most Sonny’s laughed since the phone call with Mark. 

And then she remembers.

She remembers that today’s the day the world finds out. 

She remembers that Kelley taking her out means that she hasn’t checked her phone much. She hasn’t been on instagram or twitter or seen the reactions. She knows some fans will be upset and she hates that. She knows that people who used to root for her will now root against her just because the jersey on her back is purple instead of red. She knows the Riveters will wish her a fond farewell and then cheer exclusively for the Thorns next season, and when the Thorns face Orlando it will sting more than she’ll ever admit. 

She remembers and her laughter fades and the smile falls from her face and tears prick at the back of her eyes. 

She remembers and suddenly the arm around her shoulders is holding her up and Kelley’s eyes are looking her over in concern. 

She remembers and then Kelley is holding her close while she fights back tears that seep into Kelley’s sweatshirt. 

“Hey. It’s okay. It’s okay,” Kelley soothes into her hair, stroking the back of her head gently as she holds her. “It’s okay.” 

Except it’s really, really not. 

  
  


She doesn’t mean to sleep in Kelley’s bed. She doesn’t. But she can’t bring herself to get up and leave, either. 

Not when Kelley is curled around her, running fingers through her hair, handing her another tissue, and whispering soothing words into her ear. 

Not when Kelley declares that they’re watching a movie and puts on Arthur Christmas even though it’s January. 

“What? It’s a feel good movie and you need to feel good,” Kelley replies to Sonny’s unasked question. “Who doesn’t like a good Christmas movie?”

Not when Allie piles into Kelley’s bed on the other side of her with a bag of popcorn and gives her a kiss on the cheek and says, “You’re gonna be a star there, Son,” before declaring that she needs to find slippers like Arthur’s before next Christmas. 

“Oh my God, yes!” Kelley agrees. 

Not when she’s managed to stop crying for the second time, after she’d checked twitter through bleary eyes and liked a few fan posts, and she manages to be the first to find light up, singing, Christmas slippers on Amazon, holding her phone up triumphantly. 

(Not when Kelley falls asleep leaning on her shoulder, her warmth seeping into her body and making her forget just about everything else.)

  
  


It becomes a thing. Everyday at camp Kelley asks her, “Know what they have in Orlando?” Everyday it’s something new. 

Everyday it’s something that Kelley knows that Sonny will love. 

She starts getting texts from Alex, too, with links to places she just HAS to take her, or upcoming concerts and events scheduled for 2020, and Sonny knows that that’s Kelley’s doing, too. 

Everyone else gives up the pretense of not knowing, too, and Ali and Ash make a point of welcoming her to the team. 

She still hates the idea of not heading back to Portland, but it feels a little better.

Ali gets her excited about training together. 

Ash tells her how much they need her in the back line. 

Tobin and Lindsey and AD keep saying how much they’ll miss her, how the team won’t be the same without her.

It still sucks, but it makes her feel like maybe she’s got a bit of worth. Maybe, even as a pawn in someone else’s game she can make a difference. 

Kelley points out that she’s going to visit baby Janice as much as possible, and somehow that makes Sonny happiest of all. 

  
  


It’s the last night of camp and maybe they shouldn’t have snuck the bottle of whiskey into Kelley’s room, but it had seemed like a good idea at the time. 

Now, though…

Well, now, Sonny’s having trouble focusing on anything except for the way that Kelley has sat next to her all night. 

She didn’t have to. There are other people here, crowded into Kelley and Allie’s room. Just about everyone from the team has passed through at some point or another. 

But Kelley is at her side and Kelley smiles when she passes Sonny the bottle for another swig. 

Sonny shouldn’t stay tonight. She has an early flight back to Atlanta and she really should be drinking water instead of the remnants of the whiskey.

But she can’t stand. Not when Kelley’s arm is pressed against hers on the bed. Not when Kelley’s leg is carelessly tossed over one of Sonny’s and she’s showing off the bruise on her thigh she got the other day when she slide-tackled Pinoe, and she’s hiking up her shorts and there’s just SO much skin.

Sonny’s mouth feels dry and she’s not sure she should trust her voice and her thoughts are a little fuzzy, but then Kelley’s looking at her with those bright eyes and that crooked grin, and Sonny can make out the flecks of gold amidst the greens and browns of Kelley’s irises, and they’re so damn captivating. 

And then the words fall from her mouth, barely above a whisper. Not loud enough to wake Allie who’s snoring in her bed. 

“You know what they don’t have in Orlando?” she asks, and her heart is already racing in her chest, just knowing what the answer is. 

“The Thorns?” Kelley guesses with a smirk that shows off a hint of perfect white teeth. 

And, GOD, Sonny should really NOT be allowed to drink around Kelley because that smirk makes her want-

It makes her want to-

Sonny shakes her head. She’s had more than she should have, and the buzz she has going is making her feel a little bold and a lot reckless. She leans in closer, her lips almost ghosting against Kelley’s ear as she whispers, “You.”

Kelley freezes in place for a moment, and Sonny knows as soon as the word is out that it’s a mistake. It’s too much of an admission. It’s too much of a truth she should have left buried forever until it was nothing more than a distant memory. 

Kelley moves her leg off of hers and she pulls back enough to look Sonny in the eyes and there’s a wrinkle between her brows and Sonny almost takes it back, but then Kelley laughs, and it’s her normal laugh. 

“You’re such a doofus,” she teases, ruffling Sonny’s hair. 

And maybe, maybe she didn’t give as much away as she thought. 

  
  


Home is a nice refuge. Her parents make her favorite meals and her friends that are still local all make a point of taking her out and scheduling hang outs. 

Emma visits regularly and makes her laugh like no one else ever can. 

Any time that isn’t occupied by people is occupied by workouts because just because camp is over doesn’t mean she’s done putting in the work to make sure she makes the roster for the Olympics. Qualifying is just around the corner and she needs to be played. She doesn’t expect a start. Not with Kelley healthy. But if she can prove her value as a sub…

She needs to. It’s her only chance. 

  
  


Kelley doesn’t text for four days and Sonny tries not to take it personally. 

It’s stupid. 

They’ve gone longer without texting before. Life happens. And Kelley’s back in DC with her girlfriend. 

It doesn’t mean that she freaked her out with her almost admission. 

It’s just the way things go. 

  
  
  


** _[Ms. Kelley 3:16 p.m.] _ ** _ Know what else they have in Orlando? _

“Who’s got you smiling like that?” Emma leans over to glance at Sonny’s phone, and smiles knowingly. “Oh. Of course.” 

Sonny holds the phone to her chest a little too late given that Emma’s already seen. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Emma just gives her a look. It says enough. 

Sonny sighs. “It’s not like that.”

“Isn’t it?” 

“She has a girlfriend,” Sonny replies instead of answering properly. There’s no real point in lying to Emma. It never works. 

“Doesn’t change the MASSIVE crush you’ve had on her forever.” 

“It’s not massive. It’s minor.” 

Emma gives her another look and Sonny ignores it in favor of texting Kelley back. 

** _[Hypemaster3000 3:20 p.m.]_ ** _ What? _

Kelley texts back a link to an indoor skydiving place and Sonny clicks through. She’s always wanted to try it. Who doesn’t want to feel like they’re flying? 

Emma leans over her again. “What’s that?” 

“Kelley keeps telling me cool things to do in Orlando. She’s trying to make me feel better about the trade,” Sonny replies as she clicks through the website, feeling herself getting excited about it already. 

She wonders if Kelley would go with her. 

** _[Hypemaster3000 3:28 p.m.]_ ** _ Bet it’d be more fun with a friend. Come with me? _

It’s only after she’s sent it that she considers how it might come across after her drunken blunder. 

** _[Hypemaster3000 3:29 p.m.]_ ** _ Maybe Ali and Ash too? I’m guessing it’s not a pregnancy friendly activity so probably not Alex.  _

** _[Hypemaster 3000 3:30 p.m.]_ ** _ Think Syd would be down? _

“You’re rambling,” Emma advises. 

“Shut up,” Sonny grumbles. 

“You’ve got it so bad.”

“Shut UP!”

“I’m just saying-”

“Well, don’t!”

Emma sighs, but backs of and Sonny sighs too. It never feels good to fight with Emma. 

“Anyway, it doesn’t matter. She has a girlfriend, remember? And even if she didn’t, we’re teammates.”

“Yeah, and we all know teammates never EVER hook up,” Emma replies. 

Sonny rolls her eyes. “Okay, obviously they do, but Kelley and I- No. Just no. It would never happen.”

“Okay, okay,” Emma relents. “It was just nice to see that smile on your face.”

Sonny doesn’t want to think about it. 

Kelley is happy with her girlfriend. 

She’s in love. 

Kelley doesn’t look at her like that anyway. 

She’s just happy to hear from her friend. 

  
  


** _[Ms. Kelley 8:33 a.m.]_ ** _ Up for a training partner today? _

Sonny frowns down at her phone in confusion. Kelley must have meant to text someone else. Who’s in DC right now? Maybe Rose? Andi? 

**_[Hypemaster3000 8:35 a.m.]_** _I’m not in DC…_

** _[Ms. Kelley 8:36 a.m.] _ ** _ That’s convenient. Me neither.  _

Sonny’s still processing that information when her phone rings. 

“So what do you say?”

“You’re in Atlanta?”

“Nope. Mars,” Kelley responds without missing a beat. 

“Ha ha,” Sonny says. “Why aren’t you in DC? I just figured you’d fly straight to Houston from there.” 

“Decided to come home first. Why? You sick of me even though you haven’t seen me in a whole week?”

It feels like a test, but Sonny’s not really sure why, and she finds herself replying, “No, never,” before she’s thought it through properly. 

“That is the correct answer,” Kelley replies and Sonny can hear the smile in her voice. 

It sets butterflies aflutter in her stomach. 

“So, training? Your choice of location. Say 2ish?”

“Um, yeah. Sure. I’ll text you the address,” Sonny replies, still feeling a bit flustered by the sudden change in plans for her day. 

She’s going to see Kelley. 

Today.

And the last time she saw her she’d-

She’ll need to act extra normal today. 

  
  


“Ooooh, tricky, but not tricky enough!” Kelley cries as she steals the ball and darts around Sonny to put it in the small net ten feet away. 

“Oh yeah?” 

It’s easy on the field. It’s easy to focus on the skills and the natural competitiveness. It’s easy to trash talk and joke. 

It’s easy to think about things that aren’t how much they end up touching when they’re playing 1v1. It’s easy to think about foot placement, and the best touches to the ball, and tricks to try out here instead of in camp when it counts. It’s easy to PLAY here, alone with Kelley. 

She scores on Kelley in a tangle of limbs that knocks them both over, and Sonny peers over Kelley’s body to watch her shot go in, raising a fist in triumph as she does so. “Yes!”

It’s only as Kelley laughs that Sonny realizes just where she is and who she’s half under, whose legs are threaded through hers and where exactly they’re causing pressure. And then she’s trying to move herself away as quickly as humanly possible and Kelley gets shoved into the ground with a confused, “Ow!” and Sonny can feel her cheeks burning. 

“Sorry,” Sonny mumbles, turning away so that Kelley won’t be able to see the color she’s sure is on her cheeks. 

“You okay?” Kelley asks, getting to her feet. 

“Mhm,” Sonny lies. “Fine.” 

Kelley puts an arm on her shoulder and there’s really nowhere to escape to, so she meets Kelley’s gaze instead, and takes in the way her brows are furrowed in confusion and the concern etched in her eyes. “You sure?” 

“Yep,” Sonny replies, but her voice squeaks and Kelley doesn’t look like she’s buying it for a second. 

“You look a little flushed. Do you need a break?”

“You’re just asking because I scored on you, aren’t you?” Sonny deflects, and she sounds a bit hoarse, but the tone is almost right. “It’s okay if you need a break, old timer. You can tell me.”

Kelley gives her a playful shove, and then everything is okay again. 

Almost. 

Everything always feels at least a little better when she has a ball at her feet. 

  
  


“So, how’re you feeling about everything?”

They’re eating some chocolate hazelnut oat balls that Kelley made as they sit outside and enjoy the remnants of a sunny day, so Sonny has an excuse not to answer right away, what with her mouth being full. 

She needs it, too, because for a split second she thinks Kelley means between them. She thinks maybe Kelley knows. Maybe she DID give too much away after all.

But then Sonny remembers. It’s weird how she seems to forget when Kelley’s around. 

“Better,” she says once she’s swallowed the food in her mouth. 

Kelley studies her for a long moment, and Sonny can feel a blush creeping across her cheeks at the scrutiny. She shifts uncomfortably and says, “Really.” 

Kelley’s eyes bore into her for another few seconds, and then Kelley grins. “Good.”

“I’ve been trying not to focus on all the things I’ll miss and think about all the possibilities instead. Ali and Ash have been texting from time to time. I think they’re really trying to help me feel welcome to the team. They say I can snuggle Logan and Storm all the time. Plus puppy-playdates with Bagel.”

“Oooh! That’s a good one. Why didn’t I think of that one? Can we say I thought of it?” 

Sonny giggles. “No. That one’s mine.”

“Psh. Whatever.” 

There’s that mischievous glint in Kelley’s eyes and that little half smirk tugging at her lips, and it’s one of Sonny’s favorite looks on her. It’s just so damn attractive. It never fails to make her want to just lean in and-

But no. She cuts the thought off. She can’t think like that right now. 

“Your family going to be able to make it to more of your home games?”

Sonny nods. 

“That’ll be nice.”

Sonny nods again. There’s a question at the tip of her tongue, but it makes her feel uncomfortable. Tension coils in her gut as she opens her mouth to form the words, and then she closes it again. She doesn’t really want the answer. 

“What?” Kelley asks, poking a finger into Sonny’s ribs and making her yelp. 

“Nothing!” Sonny replies, scooting further away from Kelley. 

“You were gonna say something,” Kelley accuses. 

“No I wasn’t.”

“Well then you were doing a lousy fish impression,” Kelley retorts. 

Sonny sticks out her tongue at Kelley and then pops another of the chocolate oat balls into her mouth. 

Kelley follows suit and looks thoughtful as she chews. When she opens her mouth again, Sonny’s bracing for another question about her impending move to Orlando. 

Instead Kelley asks, “Hey, Sonny? How much did you miss me?”

Sonny laughs and says, “15.”

It’s nothing close to a lie. 

  
  


They end up training together every day until they head to qualifying, and Sonny’s more than a little relieved she’s made the roster. 

Kelley’s confident, though. 

“It’s easy for you not to be stressed. You’re Kelley O’Hara. Who’s gonna cut you?” Sonny points out when Kelley laughs at her as they wait for their flight together. 

Mal’s there too, and Sonny knows that she’s feeling relieved as well. 

“Um, my ankles?” Kelley replies. 

And, okay, maybe Sonny hasn’t been thinking about how her past injuries might impact her chances. Maybe Kelley isn’t as confident as she seems. Maybe, as close as they are, Kelley doesn’t feel like she can confide in Sonny about what stresses her. 

But then again, she has her girlfriend for that, Sonny reminds herself, and it’s not really her fault if her smile suddenly feels a little forced. 

“You’ll make all the rosters if you’re healthy,” Mal chimes in. “Meanwhile I need to score or I can probably kiss the Olympics goodbye.” 

Sonny smiles sympathetically at Mal. The college draft day had helped Sonny feel a bit better about how things went. At least she hadn’t gotten a phone call that day informing her of something that was already a done deal. At least she’d had a heads up. 

(At least she isn’t the only pawn being moved around the board.)

Mal hasn’t been in the same headspace since. 

“Listen up, young’uns,” Kelley says, intentionally making her voice crack so she sounds older, prompting a grin from Sonny and an eye roll from Mal. “You two are going to play your asses off, you’re gonna score, you’re gonna defend, and you’re gonna do amazing. And then when they hang the gold medals around our necks I’m gonna say ‘I told you so’.” Kelley leans back looking smug and grins. 

Sonny and Mal exchange a look and burst into laughter. 

“You’re an idiot,” Sonny says, but what she means is that somehow Kelley always makes everyone feel a little bit lighter. 

  
  


Haiti ends with the US up by 2 when they should have been up by 5. It leaves everyone feeling like their chances at the Olympics are a little more precarious than they’d all like to believe. 

It’s a win, but it’s not the sort of exclamation mark to click of qualifying that they’d hoped for. 

Mal misses the one shot she gets, the ball arcing up and over the goal. 

Sonny doesn’t play. 

  
  


Sonny expects Kelley to go out with her girlfriend afterwards. She’s sure she’d have flown out. 

Kelley sticks close to Allie instead and Sonny can’t help but take a little joy from that. Especially when Kelley throws an arm around her shoulders and says, “You’re coming to a movie in our room, Son. We’re sneaking toppings for our popcorn. It’s gonna be wild.” 

(Especially when Kelley falls asleep halfway through the second movie with her head on Sonny’s shoulder, her body warm, and a faint smile on her face.)

  
  


Panama plays well, but they just can’t keep up in the second half, and the US pull ahead. 

Sonny gets on the field for 60 minutes and she feels relief soak through her as she does so. 

She gets the tackles and narrowly avoids a yellow card, and she thinks that maybe training with Kelley has helped her be just a little more clean in her tackles. 

Mal sits on the bench through the game. 

  
  


“Know what else is in Orlando?” 

Sonny laughs. “Kelley, I’m fine.”

“No, you’re gonna like this one, come on,” Kelley whines. 

“Okay, what?” Sonny gives in so easily when it’s Kelley. She should really work on that. 

“WonderWorks,” Kelley says, pulling out her phone and bringing up a webpage. She hands it over and Sonny finds herself looking at a picture of a building that looks like it was built upside down, apart from the door being where one would expect the door to be. 

“What is this place?” Sonny asks, scrolling through the site. 

“It’s a top-secret lab with tons of cool things, including where we can build our own roller coaster and then ride it, a glow-in-the-dark ropes course, laser-tag, and a magician comedy show,” Kelley leans over her phone and taps through different links, showing Sonny all the things she’s mentioned, but Sonny can’t focus when Kelley’s shoulder is bumping into her, and then one word from what Kelley said jumps out at her. 

“We?”

“Well, yeah. You’re not allowed to go without me. Alex refuses to go because she says it’s just for kids, but you’re way cooler than her anyway,” Kelley explains. 

She doesn’t mean anything by it. Sonny knows that. And yet, she looks up at Kelley with her mouth dry and her chest tightening and words on the tip of her tongue that she really shouldn’t say. 

Kelley’s close. 

She’s too close. 

Her eyes are bright and she has a smirk playing across her lips and her breath is hitting Sonny’s face and, God, it really wouldn’t take much at all for her to just-

But she has a girlfriend, Sonny reminds herself, and she turns away easily then. SHe has a girlfriend who she LOVES. 

The thought is enough to make her slightly nauseous, but it helps her push her feelings away. 

“So you’ll go with me, right?” Kelley asks. 

“Of course. It looks AWESOME!” She’s pretty sure she sounds normal when she says it. 

(Maybe not completely though, because Kelley’s eyes linger just a little too long, and maybe, just maybe, she knows.)

  
  


Costa Rica plays dirty. Sonny ends up with a large bruise on her thigh, Pinoe has to see the trainer, and Kelley-

There’s an entire minute where Sonny’s not sure that she can breathe because Kelley goes down and she clutches at her ankle on the ground and she doesn’t bounce back up the way she should. 

She stays down and she’s holding her ankle and that can’t happen because Kelley has to keep getting called up. Kelley has to go back to the Olympics. 

It won’t be the Olympics without Kelley there. 

And then she’s waving away the trainer and getting to her feet and taking a few steps, wincing for only the first two, and then she’s jogging and Sonny remembers that breathing is kind of an essential part of life. 

It’s not until the semifinals that Sonny thinks about Kelley’s girlfriend again. Maybe she missed the qualifying, but now that they’re in the semis, she’s bound to have flown out. She scans the friends and family section. She can’t help it. She waves at her parents. She picks out Erin and Danger Dan and Karen who are beside them. She can’t see Kelley’s girlfriend. 

She doesn’t ask, though. 

It’s not her place. 

She probably has work. 

Not everyone can just take off work at the drop of a hat and fly across the country. 

  
  


They’re onto the finals before she finally gets up the nerve to ask. 

Well, the nerve to ask Allie.

“Is Bati coming to the game today?” 

“Of course. You know he has to support his numero uno!” Allie replies with a grin. 

It’s not really a shock. He’d been at the semifinal, too. Sonny just needed a way to ease into the topic so she wouldn’t like such a weirdo when she asks. 

“What about Al? Is she gonna make it?” 

“Yesssss! I cannot wait to see her!” Allie squeals in delight. “I mean it’s been way too long since I’ve been able to check on baby Janice in person. Al says she’s kicking and I haven’t felt it yet and that is a crime!”

Sonny laughs and nods. She has to admit that she’s a little excited to think that she’ll be able to watch Alex’s baby grow up close. 

She swallows hard, then, psyching herself into asking what she really wants to know. Allie’s looking her expectantly like she knows, like she hasn’t been fooled one bit into thinking that this conversation is just a friendly inquiry about her. 

Sonny’s mouth feels dry as she asks, “What about Kel’s girlfriend? I haven’t seen her in the stands. Is she flying out for the game today?”

Allie furrows her brows and tilts her head to the side, squinting in a way that makes Sonny feel like she’s under a microscope. 

“Kelley broke up with her,” Allie finally says, and Sonny’s heart starts hammering away even faster in her chest. 

“Oh,” Sonny manages, some small part of her brain still aware that a response is expected of her. 

“She didn’t tell you?” Allie asks, but it almost doesn’t sound like a question. It almost sounds like a thought voiced aloud, like there’s wheels turning in her head and she’s working something out. 

“No,” Sonny replies, and now she can’t help but wonder why that is.

It doesn’t mean anything. She’s sure it doesn’t. 

She doesn’t dare hope that it does. She can’t want. Wanting hasn’t gotten her anywhere recently except a ticket to heartache city. 

“Why did you think she was home in Atlanta?” 

Sonny shrugs. She hadn’t wondered. She’d just enjoyed. “To visit family?”

Allie gives her another look, one she can’t quite read, then says, “You ready for the game?”

It’s such an abrupt change of subject and Sonny’s mind is still reeling with this new information that she blurts out “No” without thinking it through. 

“Well, we’ve got a game to win, Son, so get ready! Focus!” 

Sonny nods, but her eyes catch Kelley’s across the room as she digs into her bowl of fruit and she’s not sure she’ll ever be able to focus on anything else again. 

  
  


The game is well-fought, but they pull out the win. 

Better yet, Mal scores. She scores and Tobin lifts her up and Lindsey and Pinoe and Sam crash into them. She scores and the final whistle blows and Sonny runs to join in the celebration. Her eyes meet Mal’s across a sea of teammates and she can see the relief written in them. 

She beams at her and Mal beams back and it’s like they know, however the Olympics shake out, they’re on the right track. 

And then someone is slamming into her side and lifting her up and yelling excitedly in her ear. “BACK TO THE OLYMPICS, BABY!”

And it’s Kelley, of course it is.

Kelley with her sparkling hazel eyes and her bright smile and her infectious energy. Kelley with her warm, sweaty arms wrapped tightly around her, practically squeezing the breath out of her. All Sonny can do is turn and laugh and hug her close. All Sonny can do is hold on and savor the moment. 

All Sonny can do is freeze when she feels lips press into her temple, and then Kelley’s breath is hot in her ear as she yells, “We’re going to the Olympics and you’re coming with me!” 

It almost sounds like a promise. 

  
  


They’re a few steps passed buzzed by the time they make it back to the hotel, and Sonny feels warm and happy in a way she’s not sure she has since right after the World Cup. This isn’t quite the same. How could it be? But there’s a similarity to it. There’s a comfort to the celebrations, to the way that everyone keeps hugging and laughing, to the way that life, just for these moments, feels good and easy. 

Ash has an arm slung around her and they’re singing “We are the Champions” in the most out of tune way, but they don’t even care. 

Sam has the presence of mind to shush them as they walk down the hotel hallways, but they don’t listen. 

Tobin and Christen pull a disappearing act. Julie and Crystal are still off with their husbands. Pinoe, Allie, Ash, and Ali decide more of a party is in order. Mal, Sam, Lindsey, Abby, and Rose are plotting their own party in another room with the potential for a sleepover. Everyone else is kind of scattering in between the two parties, and Sonny is trying to decide if future teammates or old friends hold more appeal, when she feels a hand grip her elbow firmly and she’s being guided away from the group and down the hall and into a hotel room. 

“Kelley?” she asks, feeling her chest beating in her throat when she realizes who exactly has kidnapped her. She’d naturally assumed that Kelley would be going with Allie, but here they are, alone in Kelley’s dark hotel room. 

Kelley flips on the lights and goes to her bed and flops down. “I’m tired. But I want company,” she says, patting the bed beside her. 

It’s inviting. A little too inviting with the way the world feels a little bit fuzzy and it’s like she can actively feel her decision making being somewhat impaired, but she still manages to hesitate. “You don’t want to party?”

Kelley shakes her head. “Want to snuggle.”

And oh. That’s- 

Well, that’s-

Probably innocent. Kelley’s never been shy with the casual touches and the hugs and the snuggles. She’s like that with everyone. 

Sonny’s legs are walking her to the bed before she’s actively made up her mind, and Kelley smiles and gives a contented little sigh as she snuggles into Sonny’s side when she settles onto the bed. 

“What about Allie?” Sonny asks because even with the alcohol running through her system she can’t quite bring herself to ask what she really wants to know, “Why me?” 

“She’ll be fine. She’s with pookie,” Kelley mumbles. 

Then Kelley is reaching across her and her chest is rubbing against her own, and Kelley’s weight is pressing into her and Sonny forgets how to breathe. 

But then she’s pulling back, holding the remote triumphantly and turning on the TV.

Sonny still feels like she’s buzzing from the game and the alcohol in her system is spreading warmth through her body, but Kelley - Kelley is like a drug all of her own. Kelley whose head is resting on her shoulder and whose arm is pressed firmly against hers and whose fingers are idly brushing the back of her hand. 

“Know what else they have in Orlando?” Kelley asks, and her voice sounds sleepy. 

“What?” Sonny asks. 

“Me when I come visit you,” Kelley replies, lacing her fingers through Sonny’s. 

Sonny doesn’t push it. She doesn’t ask the questions now searing through her brain. She doesn’t acknowledge the way her skin suddenly feels like it’s on fire. 

And yet-

It feels like maybe she does mean something after all, and that makes Sonny want. 

She can’t help it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes when you’re in your own head your wombmate is the only one qualified to knock you out of it. AKA Emma is not amused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, so this 2 parter has turned into a 3 parter. Thank you for all the feedback to part 1! I'm so glad you're enjoying it! As always, let me know what you think of this bit. I hope you enjoy!  
It's unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine and it's been a long week with 3 sick kids so odds are there are plenty.   
xx

There’s a chill in the air in Atlanta, but Sonny doesn’t really feel it. Not when Kelley is teasing her, making her double over in laughter, completely interrupting their run when Sonny has to stop to regain control of herself and catch her breath. 

Kelley’s just grinning at her when she manages to stand back up, breathing almost where it should be, that mischievous grin that Sonny loves so much. It’s half smirk and half trouble and all sexy, and Sonny has to remind herself that she doesn’t really have a right to think those things.

Kelley’s only just broken up with her girlfriend. Or, well, recently anyway. Sonny still doesn’t know exactly when it happened (or why even though THAT question has been driving her more than a little crazy). She still hasn’t gotten up the nerve to bring it up with Kelley, to let her know that she knows. 

Kelley hasn’t mentioned it either, though, which makes Sonny think that maybe Kelley just doesn’t want her to know. Maybe it’s temporary. Maybe they had a fight and Kelley’s looking to fix things between them. 

Except-

Except she’s in Atlanta instead of DC. They’ve seen each other every day since they got back from Houston. Mostly they’ve trained, but Kelley really wanted someone to see  _ Little Women _ with, so they’d gone together, and then there was the new gelato place they needed to try and the band that Kelley had never heard of and really needed to that they went to see play, and it almost feels like-

Except it’s not. 

“What’s up?” Kelley asks, her grin now a thin-lipped frown, her brows furrowed, and Sonny realizes she’s been too in her head again.

“Nothing,” she says quickly. 

Too quickly. 

“Mmm, yeah, it’s definitely something,” Kelley counters. 

“It’s not important,” Sonny replies. 

Kelley shrugs and offers an easy smile. “Tell me anyway?”

She can’t. She can’t just ask, “Do you like me?” She can’t ask, “Are these meant to be dates?” 

“How’s the girlfriend?” she asks instead as she starts to run again. 

Maybe her tone is too telling. Maybe Allie told Kelley that Sonny already knew. Either way, Kelley knows. Sonny can tell she knows by the sidelong look Kelley gives her as she keeps pace. 

“She’s not,” Kelley replies. 

“What?” Sonny knows what she means, but she asks anyway. 

“She’s not my girlfriend anymore,” Kelley says. 

“Oh. Sorry,” Sonny replies because she doesn’t know what else to say. She’s not. Not in the slightest, but she hopes that Kelley can’t hear the insincerity in her voice. 

Except she can. Of course she can. 

“No you’re not,” Kelley accuses, but there’s no animosity in her voice. It’s almost teasing instead, and there’s the hint of a smirk on her lips, and Sonny’s about to press for more information, but Kelley say’s, “Race you to the big oak!” and then she’s off and Sonny is scrambling to catch up, their conversation abandoned. 

  
  


“She’s rebounding.”

“Not sure that it’s rebounding if she’s not actually dating anyone,” Sonny points out, not looking up from the rough sketch of a cow she’s doodling onto her napkin. 

“She’s practically dating you,” Emma counters. 

Sonny shakes her head. “She’s not. There’s nothing datelike about it. There’s no hand-holding or flirting or staring longingly into each other’s eyes even. It’s mostly just training.”

“And movies,” Emma says. 

“One movie.”

“And coffee.”

“Coffee is an essential part of life, not just something to do on dates,” Sonny argues. 

“And ice cream.”

“Also essential.”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt, twinkie.” 

Sonny sighs. “I won’t. I’m not...I KNOW it’s not like that, okay? I know she doesn’t see me like that. Besides, I’m heading off to Orlando and she’s heading off to Salt Lake City and it’s just not- Even if she did see me like that it’s not a good time to try to start something. Long distance sucks.”

Emma looks at her for a long moment before saying, “There’s the She Believes Cup first.”

“If I make the roster,” Sonny replies. 

“You’ll make the roster,” Emma says confidently. 

** _[Ms. Kelley 5:13 p.m.]_ ** _ I’m bored. Come over? _

** _[Ms. Kelley 5:13 p.m.]_ ** _ I’ll make you those tacos you like! _

Emma leans over and reads over her shoulder. 

“Yeah. Sure. You’re not dating. That’s totally just a friendly invite.” The sarcasm is dripping so heavily from her voice that she 100% deserves the little shove that Sonny gives her. 

“It is,” Sonny replies. 

She ignores the butterflies in her stomach as she types back. 

“You’re grinning like an idiot,” Emma informs her. 

She ignores that too. 

  
  


“Oh my God! Are you- It’s you! Emily Sonnett! Oh my GOD, I’m SUCH a big fan! Can I have your autograph!” 

Sonny laughs and rolls her eyes and pushes past Kelley into her apartment, feeling her cheeks start to burn. 

“You’re like my idol,” Kelley continues. “Can we take a selfie?”

She’s pulling out her phone and Sonny has to laugh because she’s being absolutely ridiculous, but she manages a thumbs up and a smile as Kelley actually takes a selfie of them together, Kelley pointing excitedly at Sonny with an exaggerated amazed face. 

“You’re such an idiot,” Sonny laughs once Kelley has snapped the picture. 

“Just wanted to make you feel welcome,” Kelley replies with a smug grin. “Plus, I realized I have not posted any pictures of us together and we’ve been hanging out like EVERY day. My fans demand content, and who better to share a post about than the player I’m a fan of?”

It’s just teasing. She doesn’t mean anything. Sonny’s sure. That’s what makes it easy to roll her eyes again and say, “You’re ridiculous. Nobody is gonna believe you’re my fan, Kel.”

Kelley pauses from where she’s posting to instagram to give Sonny a funny look. “Well then they’re idiots,” she replies, then turns back to her phone. 

Something does a flip down low in Emily’s gut and she doesn’t really know how to respond, so she just makes herself at home on Kelley’s couch and changes the subject. “I heard a rumor about tacos.”

“You did? Huh. Weird,” Kelley replies, still looking at her phone. 

“Are you saying that you brought me here under false pretenses??” Sonny demands. 

“Probably,” Kelley says, shooting her a wink. 

Sonny tosses a throw pillow at her, ignoring the way the wink made her breath catch in her throat, and Kelley dodges it, laughing. 

She taps on her phone a few more times then grins at Sonny. “Would I promise you tacos and then not deliver?” she asks. 

“I HOPE not. I’m obviously only friends with you for your cooking skills,” Sonny replies. 

“Obviously,” Kelley echoes as she makes her way to her kitchen. 

Sonny checks instagram. She can’t help it. Sure enough, there’s the picture of her and Kelley. It’s captioned “Fangirling so hard! OMG I can’t believe I met THE Emily Sonnett, star of Orlando Pride.”

It reads strangely. Maybe it still hasn’t sunk in that she’s really going to be playing somewhere besides Portland next season. And yet she finds herself smiling at the caption. Kelley is ridiculous. She watches comments and likes start to pour in. She adds her own. “Such a needy fan. Those tacos you bribed me with better be delicious.” 

There’s a quick comment reply to her that reads simply: “Couple goals” with a heart eyes emoji and it makes her heart race. 

They’re not-

Do people really think that-

“You coming? Or do I have to be lonely while I make you food?” Kelley asks, leaning out of the kitchen and looking at Sonny. 

“Coming!” Sonny locks her phone a little too quickly, feeling as if she’s been caught looking at something she shouldn’t, and it falls out of her hands to the ground. 

Kelley furrows her brows and smirks. “You okay there, Son?”

“Yep! Yes. Fine.”

Kelley gives her a funny look, but goes back to cooking and Sonny breathes out a deep sigh and picks up her phone. 

“Totally, completely fine,” she mumbles to herself. 

  
  


“Oh my GOD,” Sonny moans around a mouthful of food. “I might have to hire you as my personal chef.”

Kelley doesn’t respond immediately and when Sonny looks her way, Kelley’s watching her with an unreadable expression on her face. She laughs quickly, though, and says, “I hate to tell you this, but I actually already have a job.”

“Mmm, well, you have something to fall back on if the soccer thing stops working out for you,” Sonny replies. 

“Are you just angling for my starting spot?” Kelley accuses with a grin. 

“Well, obviously. But also this taco is to die for,” Sonny answers with a matching smile. 

  
  


Before long they’re scraping their plates clean for a second time and Sonny’s growing increasingly aware of the fact that even though they’ve hung out plenty recently, they’ve never really done so alone. Not out of view of other people. Not in Kelley’s apartment like this. 

It doesn’t help that the words “couple goals” are still swirling in her head. 

“Hey, uh, wouldn’t it be weird if people like shipped us together?” Sonny says the words before she can think it through and she immediately wishes she could take them back. 

Kelley gives her a look. It’s the same sort of look she’d given her when Sonny had suggested that Kelley turn around so that she could change. “Sonny,” Kelley says, her tone of voice implying that Sonny’s a bit of an idiot, and honestly she feels like one right now. “Come on.”

“Right, yeah, stupid. Sorry. Forget I-”

“You DO know that there are fans that ship like every possible combination of people on the team, right?”

Sonny’s mouth falls open because that was not at all what she expected Kelley to say. “What?”

“Literally if you’ve interacted in public with anyone once, there’s probably someone who ships it. Of course people ship us. We hang out all the time.”

“Oh.”

Kelley frowns and studies her for a moment and Sonny can feel heat creeping up her cheeks. She wishes now more than ever that she hadn’t brought this up. 

“Does that bother you?” Kelley asks. 

“What?” Sonny plays dumb. 

“People wishing that we were together. Or thinking we are,” Kelley elaborates. 

Sonny shrugs. “No. No. I mean...whatever, right? People are always going to think what they want. Didn’t you tell me a long time ago when I was new to the team to ignore the chatter?” 

Kelley nods. “Yep. Sound advice from a wise woman,” she replies with a grin, but then she’s looking hard at Sonny again and Sonny has to squirm in her seat under the scrutiny. 

She knows she’s blushing hard now. “Besides, obviously we’re not together, so it doesn’t really matter what other people think, right?” 

Kelley looks at her a second too long and a second too hard before saying, “Right,” slowly. 

It makes Sonny think-

It makes her wonder-

“Why’d you break up with your girlfriend?”

It’s such a dangerous question to just blurt out, especially on the heels of the conversation they’d been having. 

It’s even worse than she’d realized because Kelley’s response is to cock her head to the side, look curiously at Sonny and say, “I never told you I broke up with her.”

And oh. Of course she hadn’t. Allie had. 

“Oh, um, I just assumed because you didn’t seem that upset and I just assumed you’d seem more heartbroken if she’d done the breaking up, but I don’t really know-”

She cuts herself off because Kelley is smirking at her. It’s a full on smirk that reaches her eyes and Sonny’s cheeks are now burning so much that she’s sure they must be bright red. 

“Allie told me,” she admits quietly. 

Kelley nods, but she doesn’t look any less amused. “I know.”

“Wait, you knew I knew?”

Kelley nods again. 

“But when we were running-”

“You seemed to want to act like you didn’t for some reason, so I let you.”

“Oh.”

“You wanna watch a movie?” 

“Yeah, sure.”

Sonny is so flooded by relief at the change of conversation that it takes her a while to realize that Kelley never actually answered her question. 

  
  


“Just stay. It’s late.”

It shouldn’t be a big deal. It’s not, really, but the invitation feels dangerous. 

“I should get home,” Sonny replies. 

“Son, it’s like 2 a.m. and you were just asleep on my couch,” Kelley points out with a smirk on her face. 

She should say no. She should go home and sleep comfortably in her own bed. Alone. WIth Kelley far away in her own apartment.

But she wants-

“Okay. You gonna get me a pillow and a blanket or should I just use a throw pillow?” 

Kelley gives her a strange look, like she’s suddenly sprouted two heads, and then says, “Don’t be an idiot. Come on,” and heads towards her room. 

She hadn’t wanted to assume, but she’d hoped…

And now it’s happening. Not that it means anything. They’ve shared a room before.

They’ve shared a bed before. 

But this time feels different. 

This time it’s just them. It’s Kelley’s room. Kelley’s bed. It’s not a random hotel room and there aren’t likely to be teammates or roommates that could come in at any moment. This time-

This time Sonny knows she has to keep her hands to herself anyway because this is still-

It’s such a bad idea. 

“Know what else they have in Orlando?” Kelley asks. 

Sonny’s trying not to think about how she’s laying in bed with Kelley who’s wearing nothing but a tank top and some shorts. She’s trying not to think about how she’s wearing one of Kelley’s LFG T-shirts and a pair of cardinal red shorts with the number 19 on the leg. She’s trying not to think about how it’s almost like something a girlfriend would wear to be supportive at a game. 

It takes her a second to register that Kelley’s said something and a whole nother second for her ears and her brain to communicate enough that she knows what that something is. “What?” she asks. 

“Epcot,” Kelley replies.

Sonny frowns. “Wait, when I suggested Disney World you made fun of me.”

“Epcot is admittedly IN Disney World, but you know what Epcot has?”

Sonny grins now, because she does, in fact, know what Epcot has. “Beer.”

“Bingo,” Kelley replies tapping her gently on the nose. 

“Didn’t Alex get in trouble for that one time?” Sonny asks. 

Kelley nods. “Yeah, but we’ll be more responsible.”

“We will?” Sonny says in disbelief, and then the word ‘we’ hits her. Kelley keeps suggesting things for them to do together. 

It feels-

Well, it feels like something. 

And Sonny’s still groggy from her nap on the couch and it’s late and she’s maybe not processing things properly or thinking them all the way through because she blurts out, “Why do you keep making plans for you and I to do together?” 

She closes her eyes once the question is out because she’s not so out of it that she doesn’t know how monumentally stupid asking that is. She’s almost certain she doesn’t want the answer. Her heart is racing and it’s so loud in her ears that she’s sure Kelley must be able to hear it too. 

She hears Kelley shift on the bed beside her, but she doesn’t look. She opens her eyes and stares straight up at the ceiling, tracing a small crack in the paint with the soft glow from the streetlight outside that’s sneaking in through the curtains. 

When another long moment passes and Kelley still hasn’t answered, she finally turns onto her side and looks at Kelley. 

Kelley is studying her with a slight frown and narrowed eyes, and there’s something in her gaze that Sonny can’t identify, but it makes her wish that she’s stayed looking at the ceiling. 

“Do you want me to stop?” Kelley asks, her voice low. 

Sonny shakes her head. “No.”

Kelley looks at her for a few seconds longer and then smiles. “Good because I DO plan on visiting and we are going to have some fun.”

It’s not really an answer. 

“Okay, but just me?”

God she should really just go to sleep and stop opening her mouth, but she keeps thinking about all of Kelley’s other friends in Orlando. Syd and Al and Ali and Ash. She’s friends with all of them, but her suggested plans only ever seem to include Sonny. 

“Would you like me to invite others?” Kelley asks. There’s a faint smirk on her lips, but there’s still this gleam in her eye that Sonny can’t read, that makes Sonny’s heart beat just a little bit faster in her chest and makes her palms just a little bit sweaty. 

“What if I say no?” Sonny says instead of answering. Her voice comes out a little hoarse and a little strained. 

Kelley raises an eyebrow at her. She bites her lower lip and looks like she’s thinking about something, but then she just challenges, “What if you do?” right back. 

It’s the groggy thinking and the late night and the safety of the darkness and the way the whole atmosphere between them has felt shifted since that night after the CONCACAF final. It’s the way that this moment between them feels so incredibly intimate. It’s because she’s close enough to Kelley that she can feel Kelley’s breath tickling her face in small, warm puffs. It’s because Kelley’s arms look so fucking sculpted in that tank top even though they’re just laying in bed together and because Kelley’s college number is on her leg and because Kelley’s eyes are bright and her face is gorgeous and her lips are so fucking inviting and they’re right there. 

Sonny leans in and she brushes her lips against Kelley’s. Just barely. Just a tentative touch, almost experimental. She feels Kelley exhale shakily, the breath hot against her lips, and then Sonny loses any semblance of self control because Kelley’s lips are soft but they’re pressed so firmly against hers and Sonny’s kissing her. Full on kissing her. Her hand comes up to cup Kelley’s cheek and Kelley’s fingers find her hip and dig in and Kelley’s lips are moving against hers. She wants more. She wants everything. She swipes her tongue into Kelley’s mouth and bites at Kelley’s lip and laces her fingers through Kelley’s hair and Kelley lets out a low, strangled moan and-

And it’s enough. It’s enough to make Emma’s words echo through Sonny’s head.  _ She’s rebounding _ . It’s enough to make Sonny realize exactly what she’s doing, exactly what she’s done. 

She pulls back immediately and is already talking as she stumbles her way out of bed and across the room. “God, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean- I wasn’t thinking and it was late and I’m like half asleep- You just broke up with your girlfriend and you’re probably feeling, like, vulnerable and I haven’t been with anyone in a while and- It was just a weird moment and I didn’t mean- God, I’m so sorry! Kelley I’m so sorry, please don’t hate me! Look, I’ll go. I’m going. I’ll, um, I mean I’ll see you at camp next time probably, but I’ll stay away, okay? So just like...I’m sorry.”

She’s out of the room and at the door to the apartment, shoving her feet in her sneakers without caring that she’s bending down the backs of them by not putting them on properly. She doesn’t know what she did with her sweatshirt, but her car keys were on the coffee table where she’d left them, so she grabs them and she goes before Kelley has a chance to talk her out of it, to claim it’s not really a big deal and they should just laugh it off.

Because the problem is that is IS a big deal. It’s such a big deal. Sonny’s not even sure that she realized it until right now, but this isn’t just some idle crush she has on Kelley. This isn’t something that is going to go away just because she pretends to laugh about it. This is real, actual, solid feelings and that is TERRIFYING. 

And now she’s kissed Kelley. Kelley who just broke up with someone. Kelley her friend, her mentor, her teammate. Kelley who has done nothing but be supportive of her and tried to help her make the best of a bad situation and she’s thrown all of it away because she couldn’t control her fucking libido. 

There are tears in her eyes as she puts her car into drive and she only makes it a few blocks before she has to pull over and just cry. 

The tears pour out and her body shakes as sobs wrack through her and her nose is already so stuffy she can’t remotely breathe through it, but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because she’s been traded to Orlando and she’ll never play in Providence Park with them as her home crowd again and she has feelings for Kelley, one of her best friends in the world, and she just royally fucked that friendship up.

Everything’s going to shit and she doesn’t know what the hell to do about it except just cry. 

  
  


Sonny hears the texts come in first thing, just like she heard the texts come in last night in the car and when she was home. 

She doesn’t read them. 

She doesn’t even check to see who they’re from. 

She knows. 

She gets up before anyone else is up and goes for a run. It’s not like she was sleeping well anyway, and at least if her face is red and splotchy when she gets home she can blame it on the run instead of the tears that keep threatening to prick at her eyes. 

She puts on a playlist and she puts in her headphones and she pushes all thoughts out of her mind as she sets out. She focuses on the feeling of her feed thudding against first the pavement and then, when she reaches the park, on the grass. She focuses on the eventual burn in her calves and the tightness in her chest and keeping her breathing as even as possible as her heart rate goes up. She runs and she runs until her lungs are starting to burn and there’s a stitch in her side and then she pushes through a few more steps until she collapses against a tree, gasping for air. 

She heads for home at a slower pace once she’s caught her breath, but she keeps her focus the same. She feels each step, each jolt from impact running through her legs, focuses on keeping her form good, her breathing focused. 

She’s almost home when Emma steps out in front of her and yanks her earbuds out of her ears. 

“Ow! What the fuck?” Sonny demands. 

“Yes, precisely, you doofus!” 

Sonny retrieves her earbuds where they’re dangling on the wire and glares at her sister. 

“Wanna tell me why Kelley O’Hara called and woke me up this morning?” 

Sonny’s heart starts to race in her chest, but she doesn’t answer, she just shakes her head. 

“Something about you running out of her house at three in the morning ring a bell?” Emma suggests, annoyance evident in her voice. 

“Maybe,” Sonny replies. “So what?”

Emma’s mouth falls open. “So what? So what? So what the fuck, Emily??”

Sonny looks at the sidewalk instead of at Emma. They might be twins, but this has nothing to do with her. Kelley should never have called her. “It’s not a big deal. I made a mistake and I felt embarrassed so I left.”

“What kind of a mistake did you make at three in the fucking morning, Emily?”

Sonny rolls her eyes. “Emma I haven’t even had my coffee yet and I didn’t sleep well last night so can this conversation wait? Maybe forever?”

“No,” Emma replies, crossing her arms. 

Sonny sighs. “Until after some coffee and some breakfast that’s more substantial than the protein bar I shoved in my mouth first thing?” 

Emma relents. “Fine.”

  
  


“So you kissed her,” Emma says. 

Sonny doesn’t respond. She’s relayed the story. She doesn’t want to think about it anymore. She just wants Emma to leave her alone and she wants to spend the rest of the day pretending it never happened. 

“And then you freaked out about it.”

“You’re the one who said she’s rebounding,” Sonny points out. 

“Oh, so it’s my fault you kissed her and freaked out about it,” Emma retorts sarcastically. 

“A little,” Sonny replies. 

Emma smacks her on the arm. “Emily! Just fucking be a grown up and call her. Or better yet, go talk to her in person.”

“I can’t.”

“And why not?”

“Because I really, really do not want to see her today.”

“Do it tomorrow.”

“Or tomorrow,” Sonny adds. “Or the day after or the day after that.”

“Except you do, you idiot.”

“You’re doing a lot of name calling and not a whole lot of being helpful today, Emma!”

“Well, you’re doing a lot of being an idiot, so consider us even,” Emma retorts. 

Sonny glares and Emma glares back, but then she sighs and she pinches the bridge of her nose. 

“Emily, I love you. But you need to deal with this. You need to talk to her. Don’t let it fuck with your soccer. Don’t let it fuck with your friendship.” 

“She’s gonna hate me,” Sonny whispers. 

“Didn’t sound like it on the phone,” Emma replies. “She sounded worried and stressed.”

“Stressed because I made a move on her when she didn’t want it.”

“No, stressed because she couldn’t get ahold of you. So call her. Talk to her.”

It sounds like great advice in theory, but just the idea of picking up her phone, of trying to have a conversation with Kelley, of listening to her explain how the kiss was a surprise and she just doesn’t see Sonny that way, makes Sonny feel nauseous. “Can I just have today without having to think about it? Please?”

Emma studies her for a moment then sighs and nods. “Fine. But I’m texting her to tell her that you’ll call her tomorrow.”

“You suck.”

“You love me.”

“Only because I have to,” Sonny shoots back, but they both know it’s a lie and Emma’s smiling at her. 

“Okay, well, I actually have some things to do at home today, so walk me out?” Emma requests. 

Sonny complies because she technically doesn’t have any plans for the rest of the day apart from avoiding thinking and probably turning off her phone. 

Their mom catches them on their way out the door and says, “Oh, sweetheart, Tobin and Lindsey both called the house. They sounded a little worried. They said something about check your messages? You should probably get back to them.” 

Emma gives her a pointed look as Sonny says, “Yeah, okay. Thanks, Mom.”

As soon as their mom has walked away, Sonny says, “Shut up!”

“I didn’t say a word,” Emma points out.

“Don’t think them so loud then,” Sonny replies and Emma just laughs. 

  
  


She doesn’t open her text history with Kelley. She does note the number of unread texts from her though. Fifteen. And three missed calls. 

She opens up her texts with Lindsey first. 

** _[Linessi 10:08 a.m.]_ ** _ Kel wants you to call her. Why did that involve me? _

** _[Linessi 10:25 a.m.]_ ** _ Okay seriously, she keeps texting to see if I’ve heard back from you yet. What did you do? _

** _[Linessi 10:29 a.m.]_ ** _ Is this about your crush? _

Fuck. Lindsey knows? Lindsey knows about the crush? Okay, Lindsey has been one of her closest friends for years, but she’s never told her. She’s never told anyone. She’s always played this as close to the vest as possible. 

Until last night.

** _[Dasani 11:19 a.m.]_ ** _ There’s no crush. Sorry you got involved. I’ll text her back. _

It’s all a lie apart from the apology, but Lindsey doesn’t need to know that. 

She opens the texts from Tobin next. 

** _[Hobin Teeth 10:16 a.m.]_ ** _ Call her, Sonnett. _

** _[Hobin Teeth 10:49 a.m.]_ ** _ Seriously. _

She doesn’t bother to reply. Tobin clearly knows more than Lindsey and there’s no need to fill her in further. Not really. 

Instead, she turns her phone off. She needs a day. Or two. Or twenty.

But at the very least she’s taking today. 

She pretends her chest doesn’t ache at the very idea of waiting even 24 hours without communicating with Kelley. 

She pretends that the feeling of her lips pressed against her own isn’t still lingering even all these hours later. 

She pretends that she’ll be able to think about anything else. 

  
  


Sonny doesn’t call the next day. She just...can’t. Emma’s right. She wants to. She wants to talk to Kelley. She wants to be hear her voice and see her and be near her. And that’s precisely the problem.

Because Kelley probably wants everything to go back to normal, to pretend like it never happened. As much as part of Sonny wants that, too. The other part of her, the part that hasn’t stopped screaming since the other night, just wants Kelley. 

And Kelley is just another thing she can’t have right now. 

  
  


The doorbell rings while she’s having lunch with her mom the day after. They’re making plans and talking about all the home games that her parents might be able to make it to now that she’s going to be so much closer, and it almost feels nice. It almost feels like maybe this will be a good move after all. And then the doorbell rings and she doesn’t think about it. She hops up and she says, “I’ll get it,” and she’s still looking towards her mom as she swings the door open and when she turns all of the air gets pushed out of her lungs. 

“Can we talk? Please?” 

Kelley looks tired and her freckles are dark across her nose like she’s spent a lot of time outside the past few days, but she’s offering a thin-lipped smile and she’s fucking there, standing in front of her, so all Sonny can do is nod. 

“Um, Mom, Kelley’s here, so we’re gonna-” Sonny informs her mom as they pass through, pointing upstairs towards her room. 

“Okay! Hi Kelley!”

“Hi Jane! Nice to see you!” Kelley says and there’s so much sincerity in her voice that for a split second Sonny can almost believe that Kelley’s not actually there to break her heart. 

“You too, dear,” Sonny hears her mom call after them, but Sonny doesn’t slow, she just heads straight to her room. 

It’s only once she’s in her room and Kelley’s lingering awkwardly in the doorway that she realizes that Kelley’s never actually been in here before. She’s been to the house. She’s come for meals. They’ve watched movies with Emma in the living room. But Sonny’s never brought her to her room. Kelley’s never seen her medal rack or the trophies shoved on top of her bookcase or the pictures stuck along the edges of her mirror. It makes Sonny feel even more vulnerable having Kelley here in her safe space. 

She sits awkwardly on the corner of her bed as Kelley’s eyes take everything in, sweeping all around the room, lingering here or there. 

She doesn’t dare say anything. 

She doesn’t know what to say. 

And then Kelley steps inside and shuts the door and words pour out anyway. 

She gets to her feet and she turns away from Kelley because she can’t take the way those familiar hazel eyes are looking at her and the words spill from her mouth. 

“I’m sorry. Kelley, I’m so sorry. Look, I know what you’re here to say and I know I fucked up and don’t worry, okay? I know you don’t feel the same. I don’t expect anything from you. We’re teammates and friends and I didn’t mean to do anything to jeopardize that.”

Sonny pauses to take a deep breath and Kelley says nothing, and that’s almost as bad as if she’d started talking so Sonny risks taking a look, risks making eye contact, just to try to gauge her reaction, just a little. 

Her face isn’t angry like Sonny half expects it to be. Her expression is blank and open, impossible to read, but her eyes are focussed, trained straight on Sonny. It makes Sonny’s mouth go dry. 

“Can we just- Can we pretend it never happened?”

Kelley takes a step towards her then and Sonny does her best not to flinch, but from the way that Kelley freezes she thinks that maybe she didn’t do a good enough job. 

“Is that really what you want?” Kelley asks, and her voice sounds a bit hoarse (and a lot sexy, but Sonny really can’t focus on that right now). 

Sonny doesn’t really know how to answer. Yes, it is because she doesn’t want all this weirdness. She doesn’t want their relationship to change. She doesn’t want to lose one of her best friends over this. But at the same time no, because the kiss wasn’t a lie. Not for her. She’s wanted this for so long and she’s never really let herself acknowledge it properly until that kiss and now- She honestly doesn’t think she CAN go back. 

Before she can articulate an answer, Kelley takes another step towards her and says, “Because I don’t.”

Sonny’s eyes flick up to meet Kelley’s, and she’s sure she must have misheard. Or maybe she’s just not interpreting the words right.

“What?” she chokes out. 

“I don’t want to pretend like it never happened,” Kelley says unequivocally. 

Sonny feels like her brain isn’t processing things properly and the floor beneath her suddenly doesn’t feel as stable. “But...why?” she blurts. 

And there it is. The look. The same one she’d had when she hadn’t wanted to look away when Sonny was changing. The same one she’d had when Sonny had asked about people shipping them. An eyebrow raise and a challenging gleam in her eyes and her lips almost in a smirk but not quite with a hint of incredulity on her face. “Why do you think, Sonny?”

But Sonny doesn’t want to think. She doesn’t want to hope. She wants to know. 

“Kelley?” She’s having trouble catching her breath and so the name comes out kind of breathy, almost like a gasp. 

Kelley takes a deep breath and says, “I kissed you back, idiot.” 

“Oh.”

That’s-

She hadn’t thought of that. 

“Yeah,” Kelley replies. “Look, I don’t want to rush this. I- I’m mean I’m still pretty fresh of a break up and you deserve- I don’t want to give you only part of me.”

“Oh,” Sonny says again because her head is reeling and she’s genuinely not sure that she can form other words right now.

“And I could tell that you were hesitant. I mean just the fact that it took me as long as it did to work out how you felt in the first place and then I realized- But I was with her and I needed to think- But then I’d think about you and, well…” Kelley shrugs. “And then you kissed me and I really don’t want to forget about it. I don’t want to pretend like it didn’t happen.”

“You’d think about me?” Sonny echoes. It’s like Kelley’s talking about a book, but Sonny’s a few pages behind and racing to catch up. She feels like she’s a bit slow, a bit dense, and it takes extra time for Kelley’s words to sink in. 

“I DO think about you. And then you pulled your little disappearing act and then Emma said you’d call and you didn’t, and I knew you were spiralling in your thoughts, so here I am, I guess, saying that I’d really like it if we could kiss again.”

“Oh,” Sonny says and gives a small nod. 

Kelley’s looking at her, waiting for a response, and then Kelley’s words hit her. 

“OH!” Sonny declares and Kelley kind of chuckles and Sonny realizes just what Kelley’s waiting for. “Now?” Sonny squeaks. It’s not that she doesn’t want to. She does. She really, really does, but the timing-

Kelley bites her lower lip. “Or just, at some point.” 

Sonny nods again. 

Except that Kelley is literally in front of her, in her room, ASKING to kiss her. What the hell is she waiting for?

She closes the distance between them quickly, swallowing the gasp that Kelley lets out as their lips meet. It’s hard and needy and not nearly enough to be having the kind of effect it’s having on Sonny’s body, but Kelley’s hands find her hips and Kelley’s lips are soft and demanding and KELLEY O’HARA IS KISSING HER. 

She can feel her body humming with energy, burning like Kelley’s touch is setting on fire. She can feel herself getting wet just from a kiss. 

And then Kelley’s breaking away and taking a step back and panting for breath. Her lips are a bit red and her eyes look a bit wild and Sonny wonders if maybe she wasn’t the only one so deeply affected. 

Kelley stands up a bit straighter and she lets out a shaky breath and runs her fingers through her hair. “Okay, then.”

Sonny takes a moment longer to catch her own breath, and she lets out a nervous giggle as she does so. “Yeah.”

“Okay,” Kelley repeats. “Do you...Do you have plans for the rest of the day, or-”

“I’m free,” Sonny replies a little too quickly. 

It’s worth it for the smile that Kelley shoots her way. 

“Would you like to maybe hang out?”

“As friends?” Sonny asks. They’ve kissed but she still feels like she’s standing on shaky ground, like maybe none of this is really real. 

“Yes,” Kelley replies. “And no. I don’t know. I’ve barely been single like a month and it’s not like I didn’t have feelings for her because I did, but you-”

Sonny waits, but Kelley doesn’t finish her sentence, she just looks at her with those stunning hazel eyes with flecks of gold in them. They’re on the greener side today, Sonny notes. “I…?” Sonny prompts. 

Kelley blushes. She actually blushes. Her cheeks flush pink and she glances down shyly and Sonny has never seen Kelley look anything but confident, but somehow this is just as sexy. “You make me feel things. You make me want things. You make it so hard for me to control myself sometimes.”

That’s...Well, it’s a lot more than just asking for a kiss. Sonny feels Kelley’s words in her chest, the way it tightens with something that feels a lot like hope. She feels the words in her stomach as butterflies flutter uncontrollably in it. “I don’t want this to be temporary.”

Sonny realizes exactly what she’s said a fraction too late and now it’s her turn to blush and look away. “I just mean, like, I don’t want to be a fling. Or a rebound. Or some fun until the season starts. I- You’re so-”

She’s been chickening out a lot lately, she realizes, and maybe what’s called for here is a bit of bravery. 

“I really like you, Kel. Like, REALLY.”

Kelley nods. “I know. And I’m not ready...I’m not completely over her, even though I broke it off. Even though I really like you too. And you deserve- You deserve for me to be completely over her.”

The words hit her like a ton of bricks, but she knows, she KNOWS that Kelley is saying she’s already made a choice. That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t sting knowing that Kelley still has feelings for her ex. “So what now, then?” 

Kelley takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “Maybe we hang out as...I don’t know...friends with potential?”

“Friends with potential,” Sonny echoes, and there’s a hint of incredulity in her voice because it sounds a little silly, but at the same time- “Yeah. Okay. Friends with potential.”

  
  


They go for a walk. It’s not a date, but it’s not like it would have been before either. Their hands brush against each other as they walk side by side with a certain purpose to it until Kelley’s pinkie finger hooks Sonny’s as they round a corner, and Sonny can’t keep the smile off her face. 

They end up getting hot chocolates at a little hole-in-the-wall cafe and the conversation flows in a way that it hasn’t for Sonny in a while. It’s not that there’s not still an underlying tension between them, but Kelley KNOWS now. She knows. So Sonny isn’t overanalyzing every word she says. She’s not looking for double meanings behind Kelley’s actions. She’s not stopping herself from saying every third thought that comes into her head. 

And then Kelley says, “God, you have the nicest lips,” and Sonny finds it a little harder to breathe as she remembers that Kelley’s not the only one who knows now. 

  
  


They still train every day. The Olympics are coming up and the NWSL preseason is starting soon and in some ways they’re doing what they can to maximize their time together, but in others they’re simply upping their training to be the best individual players they can heading in to what is apt to be a tough year. 

The thing is that now when they change afterwards, Sonny lets her eyes trail over toned abs and muscular arms in a way she would never let herself before. And sometimes, Sonny catches Kelley looking at her with so much lust that it takes all of her self-control to not just pin her against a locker and kiss her senseless. 

They haven’t talked about it more. Not really. They haven’t kissed again either, but there’s this freedom - to their words, to their touches, to their looks. 

There’s a newness in the way that Kelley links her arm as they leave the gym. There’s the way that Sonny doesn’t feel guilty when the touch sets her skin burning now. There’s this lightness to the way that Sonny feels like she can interact with Kelley now. 

And then she has to go and ruin it. 

“When are you heading to Orlando?” 

Right. Orlando. Not Portland. Not Salt Lake City where Kelley will be going. 

Orlando. 

“Um, I guess I’ll properly get settled after the She Believes Cup assuming I-”

Kelley slaps her hand over Sonny’s mouth. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence. You are going to be on that roster with me. It’s not a question, Sonny.”

Sonny licks Kelley’s hand to get her to move it without thinking about it. She’d have done the same to Emma or Lindsey or Caitlin, but Kelley isn’t any of those people. Kelley is Kelley, and suddenly she’s looking at Sonny in a way that makes tension coil low inside her. 

“Fuck,” Kelley murmurs, her eyes not leaving Sonny’s. 

Sonny watches her swallow hard and she wonders if Kelley’s mouth has gone as dry as hers has. 

“Kel,” Sonny says, and it comes out a bit husky. 

“How am I supposed to resist rushing things when you’re right there looking like that and just- Fuck. Remind me we’re in public?”

“We’re in public,” Sonny echoes, half for her own benefit. 

“Right,” Kelley replies, but she’s still looking at Sonny with an intensity that makes Sonny feel just the slightest bit out of control. 

“We haven’t actually talked about public yet,” Sonny says. 

“What?” Kelley asks, finally breaking their eye contact as her brows furrow and she frowns. 

“Like how we should behave in public. Like around the team. Are we telling people?”

Kelley raises an eyebrow at her. “Telling them what exactly?” Kelley asks. 

It’s a good point. Technically there’s nothing to tell. “I don’t know. That we’re... That we...That I...God, I don’t know.”

Kelley smirks at her. It’s just a little smirk but even that does things to Sonny and she’s leaning in before she can stop herself. 

Kelley meets her halfway though. It’s just a tiny kiss. A brush of their lips more than anything. 

And then they’re both leaning back and coming to their senses and Kelley’s saying, “We should probably try not to do that in public.”

Sonny nods, ignoring the way her lips are still tingling from such a small touch. “Or, like, in general while we’re still just...potential.”

Kelley nods too. “Right. Yeah. Right.”

Sonny lets out a small laugh and says, “Maybe we should set some ground rules for this?”

Kelley shakes her head, though. “I don’t want us to get stuck by the rules. I want- I’m getting there, I just need a bit more time and I want to give you-” she cuts herself off and looks around and then lowers her voice (and fuck if it isn’t even sexier now with a slight husk to it). “I want to give you everything you deserve, Son.”

Sonny tells herself it’s not a promise, but God it really feels like one. 

“Anyway, you should go down soon. If you go next week then I could come too? Help you get settled in? That way when you go back after the She Believes Cup maybe it’ll already feel like home.”

“Guess what’s in Orlando,” Sonny replies, trying not to focus too much on the way her heart is suddenly threatening to beat its way out of her chest at Kelley’s offer. 

“What?” Kelley asks with a grin. 

“You and me. Next week. I could probably head out Wednesday if there are flights.”

“Wednesday works for me.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny starts to settle in to Orlando and into her new friends with potential status with Kelley, but it's not always straight forward or easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so so in love with seeing Kelley play forward in qualifying that I had to throw it into this fic for the She Believes Cup. I'm not feeling great and I'm having kind of a rough few weeks, so please if you hate it, don't tell me. Also yes, the total number of chapters has been upped to 4 now, which means one more still after this. Idk why I thought it was gonna be a oneshot when I started it.  
Anyway, hope you like it. It's unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine.

The apartment is fine. It’s nothing elaborate, but it’s nice enough and it’s just going to be her there so it’s not like she needs a ton of space. It’s fully furnished and it doesn’t take long for Sonny and Kelley together to unpack the things she’s brought from home, the personal touches that make it feel less like a space that she’s visiting and more like a place she lives. 

The cable isn’t getting hooked up until tomorrow, though, and they’ve ordered take out from a place that Alex recommended and now Sonny can’t stop thinking about how there’s only one bedroom and there’s no way that she’s making Kelley, who flew down to help her move, sleep on the couch, but she’s also not sure what the rules on bedsharing are for them right now. 

“What?” Kelley asks, poking her in the arm with one of her chopsticks. 

She must have been zoning as she thought because her lie of, “Nothing,” is met with an incredibly skeptical look. 

“What?”

“Are we allowed to touch?” Sonny asks. 

Maybe it’s the bottle of champagne that Kelley had insisted they buy and pop open before their food had even arrived. That’s all she can think of to explain why she’d just blurt that question out like that. She’s not really feeling it too much, but she probably wouldn’t get behind the wheel of a car right now. 

Kelley frowns. “I’m pretty sure we DO touch on a fairly regular basis.”

“No, I mean...in bed.” Sonny can feel a blush creeping its way up her cheeks and she snuggles down into her sweatshirt to try to hide it a little. 

“Oh,” Kelley says, her eyes a little wide. 

It takes her a moment to properly answer, and that makes Sonny feel the tiniest bit less in her head about everything. That is, until Kelley smirks, raises an eyebrow at her and says, “Depends what kind of touching we’re talking about.”

And fuck. Sonny hadn’t been letting her mind go there, but now it’s the only place it wants to go. Images of Kelley in bed with her, Kelley naked, touching Kelley in ways far more intimate than those she’s allowed herself to think about so far, making Kelley moan, making Kelley scream, making her-

She chokes on air, coughing and spluttering for a moment as Kelley reaches over and pats her hard on the back, concern etched on her face. 

“You okay there, Son?” she asks, and there’s a hint of amusement, a hint of teasing in her voice. 

“Fine,” Sonny croaks out. 

Kelley’s hand has stilled on her back and it’s warm even through the thick fabric of her sweatshirt. 

“I think some touching is fine, Sonny. We can’t - We should just trust what feels right. I don’t want to have to analyze something like brushing hair away from your face.”

Sonny nods, trying not to hyperfocus on the small circles Kelley’s hand has started rubbing into her back. “Yeah. That’s...smart.”

Kelley grins. “I have my moments.”

  
  


They’re in bed together. They’re in bed together and Kelley’s fingers are tracing slow circles on the inside of her wrist and she’s wearing a tank top and some shorts and Sonny’s not sure she’s really going to be able to keep her hands (or her lips) to herself. 

They’re in bed together and it’s so much more than last time because this time they’re not pretending that there’s no underlying sexual tension. This time they’re not acting like they don’t want more. 

Every stolen glance, every time they lock eyes, it’s laced with so much ENERGY and Sonny barely dares breathe in case that makes it overflow. 

They’re not rushing. They’re not even technically dating. They’ve kissed a grand total of three times and one was really barely a kiss at all. 

It’s not a lot, but suddenly in the dark of her new bedroom it feels like a lot. 

Kelley’s fingers circle higher, closer to the crease of her elbow. 

“Your skin is so soft,” Kelley murmurs, her voice low and husky, and that alone is enough to send a shiver down Sonny’s spine. 

Kelley trails a finger down from Sonny’s elbow to her wrist and across her palm and it’s too much. It’s too much for what they’re meant to be right now. Sonny closes her hand, moves it closer to her body. 

“Kel, you can’t- You can’t just say stuff like that and do stuff like that and expect me not to-” Sonny cuts herself off with a deep breath. She closes her eyes and takes another one, trying to calm her racing heart. 

“Expect you not to what?” Kelley prompts, and she sounds closer than she should. 

Sonny’s eyes snap open and Kelley’s right there. She’s moved in closer, her eyes bright in the light let in through the blinds. There’s an intensity to her gaze that Sonny can feel all over her skin, and the faintest hint of a smirk on her lips, and it feels like a test, but Sonny’s not quite sure what she’s being tested on. 

“Kelley,” she warns again. 

“What do you want to do, Son?” Kelley asks, her breath falling hotly against Sonny’s cheek. 

Sonny swallows hard and Kelley’s gaze holds steady on her. Sonny’s eyes dart to Kelley’s lips and that’s a mistake because they’re slightly parted and a little damp like she’s just licked them and they’re so fucking close, it really wouldn’t take much, just a little lean in, a slight shift, maybe a teensy tilt of her head. 

And as she thinks it she does it. She can’t help it. 

The split second before her eyes flutter closed and her lips meet Kelley’s for the fourth time ever, she catches a glimpse of Kelley’s eyes, so full of naked want that it aches in Sonny’s chest. 

Kelley’s fingers tangle in her hair and her tongue swipes eagerly into Sonny’s mouth and Sonny’s hands find Kelley’s sides and hold on for dear life.

She melts into the kiss as Kelley presses into her, pushing her onto her back, her body rolling onto Sonny’s, leg sliding between hers. Kelley’s fingers are under her shirt before she’s properly processed what they’re doing, ghosting along the bare skin of her stomach. 

Sonny moans. She moans and she arches into the touch, into the pressure of Kelley’s body above hers. Sonny moans right into Kelley’s mouth and Kelley swallows it with her lips and her tongue. 

And then Kelley is rolling off of her and breaking away and panting, “Fuck!” towards the ceiling, and Sonny is left suddenly feeling cold and wanting nothing more than for Kelley to be touching her again. 

She whimpers as she catches her breath, but Kelley is already breathing out, “Sorry.” Is already threading her fingers through Sonny’s and bringing them to her lips.

“Sorry, that was too- We shouldn’t- You just make me so…”

“So?” Sonny prompts when Kelley trails off. 

“Fuck. So fucking wet, Son,” Kelley half whines into Sonny’s knuckles as she presses kisses there. 

“Fuck,” Sonny moans. She hadn’t been expecting that answer. She hadn’t expected the spasm it produced in her. “Fuck it!” 

She rolls onto Kelley, slotting her thigh between Kelley’s legs, cupping Kelley’s face, and kissing her deeply. She wastes no time in licking into Kelley’s mouth, in pressing her thigh up, in threading her fingers into Kelley’s hair. She relishes the way Kelley’s muscles tense beneath her, the groan that escapes Kelley’s lips, the way she writhes up to meet her touch. 

“I want you so much,” Kelley pants against her jaw. “But not yet,” she adds her lips kissing a path down Sonny’s throat. “Not yet,” she echoes even as her arms wrap around Sonny, holding her closer, keeping her on top of her. 

Kelley’s right, though. If they do this now, like this, they’ll be rushing things. Sonny can’t risk Kelley’s heart not being 100% in this. They haven’t even really gone on a date yet. They’re still in limbo, and this- This will push them over before they’re ready. 

It takes every inch of willpower for her to roll off of Kelley with a sigh. 

Kelley starts to chase her with a groan, but Sonny puts a firm hand on her chest, and Kelley flops back with a sigh of her own. 

“Right,” Kelley says. “You’re right. I just-”

“I know,” Sonny cuts her off. She doesn’t trust herself not to react if Kelley says more. 

They catch their breath and don’t look at each other, their backs both firmly on the mattress, Sonny’s eyes glued to the ceiling, and she can practically feel the way that Kelley is doing the same beside her. 

“I really didn’t think it was going to be so hard to just lay next to you,” Kelley admits. 

And that does something to Sonny’s chest, squeezing it a little tight, making her heart race. That means more than the kisses and the touches. 

That promises so much more. 

  
  


She doesn’t expect it. She’s not sure why she assumed that they’d cut off all communication. She has a few exes that she’s kept in touch with. Not every relationship ends with people never speaking to each other again. Still it catches her off guard when she comes home from the store, calling out to Kelley, who holds up a finger and moves to the far window. “Yeah, you can send that to Atlanta. Thanks.”

It takes her a minute to figure it out, to glean enough from Kelley’s half of the conversation to work out who exactly it is on the other end of the phone line, and when she does she freezes in her tracks, halfway through putting a box of cereal on top of the fridge, hand hovering in the middle of the air as the knowledge smacks her in the gut. 

“No, I’m not home right now,” Kelley says to whatever her ex has asked. Kelley glances at Sonny, then turns away as she replies, “I’m visiting a friend.”

It’s technically true. That’s all they are. They’re just friends. With potential, but friends nonetheless. And sure, it makes sense that Kelley wouldn’t want to rub the potential in her ex’s face. Kelley’s not that type of a person. They’d been happy. Kelley sounded friendly enough on the phone. There’s obviously still some sort of a connection there, even if it’s just friendship. 

Friendship, just like what she and Kelley have. 

Sonny drops her hand, her stomach churning and her mouth suddenly dry. 

“Yeah, I’ll stop by Atlanta before I head out for the She Believes Cup games…Yeah, I’m excited. It felt good to be back on the field, you know?”

Sonny wants to yell. She wants to say, “No. She has no idea. She doesn’t play like us.”

She doesn’t though. 

Kelley laughs, at whatever her ex says, and says, “Ha, thanks,” and Sonny can’t stand it anymore. She feels like she’s intruding standing in her own kitchen in her own apartment. She needs to get out of there. 

Kelley shoots her a questioning look as she heads back for the door. 

“Forgot something. Be back,” Sonny lies, and then she’s shutting the apartment door firmly behind her and making her way halfway down the hall before collapsing against the wall and taking in deep, shaky breaths. 

“Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry,” she mutters under her breath, wiping her palms firmly against her eyes. 

She blinks the tears away and then heads out of her building and away from Kelley. 

She needs a walk. She needs some space. She needs to clear her head. 

  
  


Orlando isn’t home yet. Every single corner she turns reminds her of that. There are no familiar streets to turn down. There is nothing comforting about the sights around her. In fact it doesn’t take her very long at all to realize that she is completely turned around, with no clue how to get back to her apartment, not that she has any intention of going back just yet. 

She keeps walking, trying to channel Christen and focus on her breathing. Kelley isn’t cheating on her. That’s a stupid way to feel. She KNOWS that. Even if they were TOGETHER together, which they’re NOT, talking to her ex is a perfectly legitimate thing she should be able to do. On top of that, it wasn’t like she’d tried to hide that that was who she was talking to. She could have gone to Sonny’s room and closed the door. She could have excused herself into the hall. She didn’t. She wasn’t trying to hide anything from Sonny. 

So why the hell did she feel so shaky about the entire incident? 

Non-incident. 

The entire nothing big that is badgering her mind and replaying over and over again. 

Maybe if Kelley had sounded frustrated. Or annoyed. Or like she didn’t want to keep talking to her ex. Maybe if she hadn’t laughed. Maybe if they were actually something more solid than friends with potential. Maybe-

Sonny tries again to calm her breathing. She keeps walking, fighting down the nauseous feeling in the pit of her stomach. 

She’s being immature. She should go back and talk to Kelley. She’ll feel better if they just talk things out, if Kelley explains the current nature of her relationship with her ex, if she looks into Kelley’s eyes and sees the affection and the want there. Except she can’t force her feet to turn back. Or turn left? Or maybe right? Whatever direction her apartment is. 

She wants to go home. She wants to feel like she IS home. 

Instead she’s in a new town surrounded by strangers. Instead she’s staying in an apartment that still feels too sterile and too foreign and not enough like hers. 

Tears prick at her eyes again and then she remembers that there are people here that she knows. 

She takes out her phone and searches for the right contact and calls. Her voice is shaky when Ash picks up and instantly Ash asks, “What’s wrong?”

“Can you come pick me up? I’m- Fuck, I don’t know where I am.”

“What’s the nearest street sign?” Ash asks. 

Sonny looks around and tells her, and Ash says, “Okay. Stay put. I’ll be there in...probably not for 20 minutes or so, actually. See if there’s somewhere you could get a coffee or something.”

  
  


Sonny falls gratefully into the passenger seat of Ash’s car, letting the familiarity of her voice as she cranks up the radio and starts to sing along soothe her. Ash doesn’t press her, just drives, and Sonny doesn’t ask where they’re heading. She doesn’t answer her phone when it rings either, and she knows that she’s being childish, she KNOWS that she needs to address how stupid she’s being. She KNOWS reasonably that Kelley has done absolutely nothing to deserve being ignored right now, but she does it anyway. 

She recognizes Ali and Ash’s house. She’d been there with Tobin last year when they were in town to play Orlando, and now...Well, now she IS Orlando. 

She takes a deep breath as Ash pulls into their driveway and stops the car. 

“Come on. I told Logan and Storm they were going to have a visitor and they’re very excited,” Ash informs her. 

Sonny smiles. “Thanks.” 

Ash leads her inside and calls for the dogs, and then Ali pops her head into the room and comes and gives Sonny a great big hug. “Hey! So nice to see you here! We’d been wondering when you were going to get to town!” 

She pulls back and sticks out her hand and Sonny knows that she’s offering to do the handshake they’d come up with at camp before Olympic Qualifying. It’s something else that’s familiar and Sonny does it with a little smile and a big sigh of relief. 

  
  


The dogs are comforting and entertaining at the same time, and Sonny can already feel her tension melting away. She feels her phone vibrate in her pocket and she knows she should at least text Kelley and let her know where she is. She’s probably worried. She’s probably freaking out. 

She pulls out her phone and feels a pang of guilt at the three missed calls and five missed texts. 

** _[Ms. Kelley 4:36 p.m.]_ ** _ Where’d you go??? _

** _[Ms. Kelley 4:50 p.m.]_ ** _ Come, on Sonny, pick up! _

** _[Ms. Kelley 4:55 p.m.]_ ** _ We’re trying to stay friends. That’s it. And I didn’t want to rub in her face that I’m moving on with someone already. And I didn’t say your name because she’d have known. She worked it out before we broke up.  _

** _[Ms. Kelley 4:56 p.m.]_ ** _ Which I would have explained in person if you hadn’t disappeared. Again.  _

** _[Ms. Kelley 5:25 p.m.]_ ** _ I’m worried. Pls call. _

Sonny squeezes her eyes tightly closed to fight back the tears threatening to spill from them, but a few sneak out anyway. She messed up. She’s such an idiot. And now Kelley is worried and probably annoyed, and she has every right to be. 

** _[Here Comes the Son 5:28p.m.]_ ** _ I’m at Ali and Ash’s. Sorry I flaked.  _

** _[Here Comes the Son 5:29 p.m.]_ ** _ You have every right to be mad. _

** _[Here Comes the Son 5:30 p.m.]_ ** _ I screwed up. Let me talk to Ali and Ash and then I’ll have them bring me home. _

** _[Ms. Kelley 5:35 p.m.]_ ** _ Ok. _

There’s a wave of tension back in her now and she sighs heavily, reaching out to scratch Logan behind her ear for comfort. 

“Wanna talk about it?” Ali offers. 

Sonny swallows hard. It’s only then that she realizes that Ali and Ash have no idea. They don’t know that Kelley is in town. They don’t know that there’s anything between them. They don’t know about friends with potential. She’s not even sure she SHOULD tell them, but-

But she really wants someone to know. And Lindsey and Tobin are maybe already half informed, but they’re in Portland next year. They won’t be here with her living day to day. They won’t be there in the locker room or on the field or on the off days. 

“I kissed Kelley.”

Ash’s eyes go wide and Ali represses a grin. 

“Okay,” Ash replies when Sonny doesn’t immediately continue. 

“And she broke up with her girlfriend. Kind of for me. I guess.”

“Wait you kissed her while she was still dating-”

“No! No. After. After I knew they broke up. After qualifying. After...We’re friends. But with potential. Like we’re taking it slow, I guess, until she’s properly over her ex and she can give me- But I mean we’re going to be in different cities, in different states, playing for different teams so is it even a good idea? But I like her so much. Like I used to think it was just a crush but it’s so much more than a crush, and-”

“Breathe, Sonny,” Ali says, putting a soothing hand on her arm. 

Sonny sucks in a deep breath and exhales slowly. “Sorry. We’re not even telling people I just-”

“We’re not ‘people’. It’s cool,” Ash says with a wink. “So this thing with Kelley is mutual?”

Sonny nods. “Yeah. I mean, I think. No, I know. I know it is. She...She likes me too.”

“Okay, and she’s…here?” Ali hazards a guess. 

Sonny nods. “At my apartment. She’s helping me set it up and settle in. Helping make it a home.”

Ash wiggles her eyebrows suggestively and Sonny shakes her head. 

“Not like that! We haven’t- We’re taking it slow. We’ve barely made out. I just- I came home from shopping and she was on the phone with her ex, and I- I kinda freaked,” Sonny admits. 

“Because she was talking to her ex?” Ash echoes. 

Sonny nods. “She made her laugh, and I- I guess I got jealous. I didn’t know they were still in touch. I just assumed-”

“You know what they say about when you assume. You make an ass out-”

“Of you and me. Yeah. I know. And I did. Make an ass of myself. And now she’s probably mad and maybe I’ve blown it, but I don’t want to have blown it because I love her so much and-”

Ali’s jaw falls open and Ash gasps and Sonny’s eyes go wide as she realizes what she’s just said. They’re not even dating and already she- And she’s just-

“Oh fuck!”

“You know what? Imma call Kel. Have you guys over for dinner,” Ash says, standing up and pulling out her phone. 

Ali pats Sonny sympathetically on the arm. “It’s okay. Love sneaks up on the best of us,” she says. 

Sonny buries her face in her hands. “Fuck.”

  
  


She’s pacing nervously by the door. She hears Ali and Ash banging around the kitchen together and knows that they’re intentionally giving her space, letting her greet Kelley first, letting her try to smooth things over. 

Kelley’s going to be there any minute and Sonny isn’t quite sure what to expect. How mad will she be? She has every right to be annoyed. But, God, Sonny- 

Well, she’s said it, hasn’t she? Out loud. She didn’t even know she thought it or felt it and then she blurted it out, and then she knew. She knew it was true. She knew that even though they’re not properly together, even though they haven’t even been on one official date, she loves Kelley. Not as a friend. As so much more. 

And she’s-

Fuck, she’s terrified. 

But she can’t be. She can’t be because if she runs again she might blow it, she might blow her shot at love, and so she paces and she waits, her ears pricked for the sound of a car pulling up, for the thud of a car door shutting. 

She’s opening the door as Kelley is raising her hand to ring the doorbell, and then she’s face to face with the woman that she-

She takes a deep breath. 

“Hi.”

Kelley looks reserved and a little conflicted. “Hi.” She sounds wary and that’s the last thing that Sonny wants. 

She feels her heart sink a little more. 

“I’m sorry,” she blurts. 

Kelley bites her lip and nods, looking at her, clearly expecting more. 

“I’m sorry I freaked out. I’m sorry that I ran out and didn’t wait and talk to you about it. I’m sorry that I acted like an idiot instead of a grown up and I’m sorry that I made you worry. Again.”

Kelley’s watching her intently and Sonny can’t quite read her expression, so she keeps talking. 

“I’m an idiot and it caught me off-guard that you were talking to your ex and it shouldn’t have because you’re obviously still getting over her and it’s unfair of me to expect that she’s not going to be a part of your life anymore, like I don’t want to be a person who tells you who you can and can’t talk to because that’s not fair, and also, I’m sorry but I told Ali and Ash about us. Or the non-us. About the friends with potential. So they know, and I’m sorry because I should’ve checked with you first because it involves both of us and it wasn’t fair that I made the decision on my own, but I felt a little like I was going to explode and so I told them and for what it’s worth they seem very okay with it, and -”

Kelley’s smirking a little now, but Sonny can’t stop. 

“And I’m sorry I called Ash instead of you when I was starting to calm down but I was so mad at myself for reacting the way I did that I didn’t want to face you right then, and I was a little nervous, too, but I should’ve gotten over myself and called you or at least texted you and told you I was okay and now I’m really worried that I’ve blown us before we even got a proper chance and-”

“Breathe, babe.”

Sonny does. She breathes in a long, shaky breath. “You have every right to be mad at me. I’m mad at me. I’m so sorry, Kel.”

Kelley’s fingers are warm as they tangle with hers and she gives them a little squeeze. “You can’t run away or massively freak out everytime anything comes up between us.”

“I know.”

“She called because she found some of my stuff, and we do still text from time to time.”

“Okay,” Sonny replies, doing her best to fight down the nausea that that knowledge creates in her. 

“I’d like to be her friend going forward, though right now we keep our contact mostly to a minimum. It’s painful for her still, I think. Distance makes it a little easier.”

Sonny nods, but then she perks up a little as her brain absorbs Kelley’s words. “It’s not hard for you to talk to her anymore?” 

Kelley bites her lip and looks at Sonny. Each second that she doesn’t answer ticks by slowly in Sonny’s head, and then Kelley’s shaking her head. 

“No. Not really.”

“Oh.” It doesn’t necessarily mean anything. It doesn’t mean they’re ready, or Kelley’s ready. It doesn’t mean they’re more. Sonny doesn’t want to get her hopes up. 

“But I don’t want to rub in the fact that I’m moving on. I don’t want to be the person who adds salt to a wound she didn’t deserve in the first place.”

Sonny nods. Kelley not being that person is part of why she-

No. She can’t think it right now. Not standing in front of her. Not when-

“Wait moving on?”

Kelley smirks. “What exactly did you think I was doing with you, babe?”

“No, I mean, I know, I mean, I knew you were trying, but I guess-”

Kelley’s lips are soft and the kiss is chaste and quick, but it’s enough. It’s enough to make Sonny feel like she can breathe properly for the first time since she left the apartment. 

“So am I allowed to come in now? Or are they going to be feeding me dinner in the doorway? Do I have to share with Logan and Storm?”

Sonny laughs and stands back, to let Kelley enter, but Kelley doesn’t drop her hand and when they go to the kitchen so that Kelley can greet their hosts, it’s the most like a couple that Sonny has felt yet. 

  
  


She knew this day was coming. 

She knew that eventually Kelley would leave. She has to. She plays for a different club in a different state. And technically right now it’s not even for that. Kelley will be back in a few days. She needed to do some things in Atlanta before the She Believes Cup got started. They’ll see each other soon. They’ll see each other soon and they’ll play together in Orlando, and then in New Jersey, and then in Texas, and then, only then, will they finally properly go their separate ways for a while. 

Still, this is the first night that she’s going to be sleeping alone in her new apartment. 

Despite how small it is, the space feels suddenly too big with no one to share it with. 

She texts Kelley before her flight. She texts her in the air. She texts her when she’s landed safely in Atlanta. 

She watches TV and turns to laugh with Kelley about something, but then remembers and has to pull out her phone instead, feeling like an idiot. 

They’re still just friends with potential, but ever since dinner with Ali and Ash - dinner where Kelley had held her hand at the table and leaned into her when she laughed, dinner where Kelley had pushed hair back from Sonny’s face, dinner where Ali and Ash had exchanged more than a few glances before Ash had finally said, “This is just with potential, huh?” - ever since it’s felt different. It’s felt like there’s even more potential. 

And when Kelley had kissed her goodbye, before the airport, before the car ride there, when it was just the two of them about to leave, it had felt like a promise as she’d lingered. It had felt like maybe, just maybe, Kelley was ready. 

Except that Sonny’s beyond ready. She’s had the word love lingering in her mind, dancing at the tip of her tongue, driving her insane. She can’t say it. Not how she means it. Not yet. Not when they’re still just with potential. 

  
  


She flips and flops in her bed that night, reaching out for a warmth that’s not there. It’s stupid. She’s slept alone before. She’s spent a lot more night alone than with someone in the past several years. And she hasn’t been sharing a bed with Kelley that long. She’s being ridiculous. 

Besides, during the season she’ll be sleeping alone. She’ll probably relish being able to stretch out in her own bed after practice and workouts. 

She closes her eyes and wills herself to sleep. 

She texted Kelley goodnight over an hour ago, but all she’s done is toss and turn. 

** _[Ms. Kelley 12:52 a.m.]_ ** _ Miss you.  _

Sonny’s heart starts to race. She’d been not texting Kelley on purpose. It’s not like she’ll always be able to text her at any time of night, and she’d assumed she was asleep. 

** _[Here Comes the Son 12:53 a.m.]_ ** _ Miss you too.  _

** _[Ms. Kelley 12:53 a.m.]_ ** _ Couldn’t sleep either? _

She hesitates before she answers. It’s a little too telling, the thoughts that are in her head, and she’s not really sure she should say them, but it’s late and she’s tired, and she MISSES Kelley.

** _[Here Comes the Son 12:55 a.m.]_ ** _ My bed’s too empty. _

Her phone vibrates in her hand a moment later with an incoming call. 

“The times between national team games is gonna seem long this season,” Kelley says by way of greeting, her voice a little husky and a lot sleepy, and it’s enough to do things to Sonny. 

“Why?” Sonny asks. She’s hoping for an answer, but she tries to brace herself in case it’s not what she wants. 

She needn’t have bothered. 

“Because I already hate being away from you.”

Sonny’s heart is in her throat and she feels the words she hasn’t dared say aloud again threatening at the tip of her tongue. She swallows them down, and croaks out, “Oh.”

“Is that too much?” Kelley asks. “For potential?”

“Maybe,” Sonny replies, a little unsteadily. “But say it anyway.”

“I hate being away from you,” Kelley repeats, and Sonny can hear the smirk in her voice, can imagine kissing it off of her face, can imagine kissing her long and deep and then kissing along her jaw and down her throat and-

“I hate being potential.”

“What?”

“I know why we’re doing it and I don’t want to be a rebound, I don’t want you to be with me if part of you wants to be with someone else, but I’m- I want- I’m ready to not just be potential anymore.”

There’s silence on the other end of the line, and Sonny knows she’s blown it. She knows that she should’ve held her tongue. She knows that she shouldn’t push, that she needs Kelley’s heart to be completely in this or it will crush her. 

“Sorry. I know why we’re waiting. I get it. I’m not trying to rush you. I’m really not. I-”

“Sonny.”

Sonny takes a deep breath and swallows hard. “Yeah?”

“I’d be kissing you if I was there.”

There goes her heart racing again. “To shut me up?” she suggests. 

“Maybe that too,” Kelley laughs. “But mostly because you’re really fucking adorable and I really like you.”

“Oh.”

“Can we talk until we fall asleep?”

“Please,” Sonny replies. 

Nothing’s settled. Nothing’s solved. They’re still just friends with potential, but it feels like, maybe, they’re almost there. 

  
  


Kelley is back in Orlando, but everyone else is there now, too. They’re all together, the whole team, and instead of sharing her bed in her apartment with Kelley, she’s sharing a hotel room with Rose. Instead of kisses and whispered conversations late into the night, it’s choreography sessions and movies in a group and practice and training and lifting and strategy sessions and reviewing tapes. 

These games are going to be tough, and the Olympics might not be on the line, but everyone’s spot on the team for the Olympics is. Nobody wants a loss. Nobody wants a draw. They want to win. There’s a hunger in everyone, a need to prove that they can do it, not just individually but as a team. 

Nobody has won a World Cup and then an Olympics the next year. Everyone knows it and everyone hates it. Everyone wants this to be the year that’s not a thing anymore. 

So as tempted as Sonny is to steal moments, to spend as much time as she can with Kelley while she’s here, she doesn’t. She focuses. And when they play England and pull off a hard-fought, 1-0 victory, she feels like she made the right decision. Especially when Kelley hugs her tight before she heads on in her place in the second half and says, “Go kill it.”

  
  


They manage to swing seats next to each other on the way to New Jersey. 

Allie tries to protest, but a look from Kelley silences her and Lindsey gives Sonny a funny look that she ignores. 

Sonny is pretty sure that Tobin is smirking at them from across the aisle when she whispers something right in Chris’s ear, but Sonny ignores that too. 

They talk soccer. They talk about Spain and their strengths and weaknesses. They talk about the England game and things they wish they’d done better. They talk about missed crosses and accidental backward acrobatics and personal highlights of the World Cup. They talk and they plan, but all the while Kelley’s pinkie brushes her hand, her elbow presses into her side, their legs push together. 

There are so many points of contact that Sonny feels like she’s on fire, but she doesn’t react. She can’t react. They’re surrounded by their friends, their teammates, and only Ali and Ash know for sure. At least, she thinks that’s true.

When Kelley scribbles, “Wish I could kiss you right now” on her napkin right before the flight attendant comes down the aisle to collect the trash, Sonny almost says the hell with potential and who cares who knows. But she doesn’t. Instead her cheeks flush with heat and she looks at Kelley, who smirks and winks and rests her hand on Sonny’s thigh. 

Being with Kelley without being with Kelley might be the death of her. 

  
  


Sonny rooms with Sammy in New Jersey and their schedule is so tight with these games that she honestly doesn’t care that she’s not with Kelley. She’s exhausted. Her body is exhausted. It should be illegal for recovery days and travel days to be the same day. 

Spain isn’t going to be any easier. They all know it. Spain is hungry with something to prove after missing out on the Olympics. They want the She Believes Cup. They want to beat the best team in the world, and for now that’s still them, that’s still the USWNT, and so they’re in for a battle. 

At least the recovery time is the same for both teams. That means they’re both already tired when they walk out onto the pitch. And Sonny knows that their own bench is deeper, with more rested legs that can be playmakers, but all it takes is a bad day or a missed connection or the communication to be a little off. All it takes is one goal to make a difference. 

It’s stressing her out. 

She’s bouncing with nervous energy in the locker rooms and Crystal’s music choices and Rose and Sammy trying to pull her in to a dance are doing little to ease her nerves. 

Until Kelley puts her hands on her shoulders and digs her thumbs in in a quick bit of massage and whispers in her ear. “We’ve got this. Just keep saying it. We’ve got this.”

She sounds so sure. She sounds so calm. 

And Sonny closes her eyes and she breathes in deeply and she smells Kelley’s soap and when she opens her eyes she repeats. “We’ve got this.”

“Atta girl,” Kelley replies, and smacks her on the ass. 

She tells herself to focus on the game. 

  
  


“Okay, what is going on between you and Kelley?”

Sonny had known that Lindsey was going to ask sooner than later, she’d just hoped it would be the latter option. 

She’s never been very good at lying to Lindsey. Lindsey knows her too well. They’re too close. The fact that Lindsey doesn’t actually know yet is kind of amazing. 

“Nothing,” she lies, but Lindsey gives her a look that clearly says that that lie is not going to cut it. 

“Okay, first she calls me first thing in the morning sounding vaguely panicked, asking if I’ve heard from you. Then she follows it up with like five texts. Then I DO hear from you and text her and she acts like it wasn’t weird that she was calling me in the first place. And now I find out that she’s been helping you get settled in Orlando from Pinoe who only knew because Ash mentioned having you both over to dinner, and you’re both all...I don’t know. Weird. Like you have to be near each other but then won’t acknowledge that you are. It’s weird, Sonnett. And I know you’ve had a crush on her for forever, so is this like-”

“I haven’t. Not forever,” Sonny latches on to the first thing that she actually has a clear cut response for. 

The look Lindsey gives her tells her that she isn’t convinced. Not one bit. 

Sonny sighs. “It’s...nothing. We’re just...friends.”

It’s not technically a lie, and yet it’s not really the truth either, and so Sonny can’t blame Lindsey for not buying it. 

“Yeah, okay. Sure. Fine.”

She’s annoyed, and Sonny knows she’s annoyed, but she doesn’t know if she should really say, if she CAN really say. Kelley was okay with Ali and Ash finding out, but they haven’t really talked about others knowing. And they’re...almost. They’re almost something different. Sonny can feel it. Potential doesn’t even feel like the right word anymore. 

“Lindsey,” Sonny pleads. 

“Doesn’t she have a girlfriend?”

Sonny can feel the color in her cheeks. She knows that her blush is giving her away, letting Lindsey knows that that question means more to her than it should. “They broke up a while ago,” Sonny mumbles. 

Lindsey raises an eyebrow at her. 

“Before qualifying.” 

Lindsey’s face softens a little. “So this isn’t just a one-sided crush?”

Sonny’s not sure how to answer. She’s not sure how much she can give away. If it was just about her own feelings it would be one thing, but outing someone else’s too. 

“No. It’s not.” Kelley’s voice makes Sonny jump and Lindsey’s eyes go wide as they both turn to face her. 

Kelley steps towards them and slides a hand around Sonny’s waist. “Didn’t mean to eavesdrop. Just wanted to see if you wanted to get some coffee,” Kelley murmurs, pressing a kiss to Sonny’s temple. 

It’s so domestic, so coupley, and Sonny knows that Lindsey is taking it in, sees it in the expression on her face, 

“So you ARE together.” It’s half statement, half question. 

Sonny looks at Kelley. Kelley bites her lip for a moment, then says, “Not officially yet.”

It’s enough of an answer for Lindsey. It’s enough of an answer to send Sonny’s heart hammering in her chest. It’s an answer with so much promise and it makes her heart soar. 

“Okay, I’ll keep it on the DL,” Lindsey says. “Don’t hurt her, Kel.”

“Cross my heart,” Kelley replies a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips as she drags a finger in an x across her chest. 

Lindsey points menacingly at her, but there’s a smile tugging at her lips too. “I’m holding you to that.”

  
  


Japan is a fierce competitor. It’s clear they’ve been doing their homework leading up to hosting this Olympics. 

By halftime Sonny is not looking forward to having to face them again soon. 

The score stands at 1-1 and it’s not how anyone wants to wrap up this tournament. Without a clear win, England walks away with the cup for the second year in a row. Nobody wants that, but Japan’s attack has been strong and their defense has been solid, and they’re finding it hard to get plays going. The flow of play keeps being interrupted. 

Vlatko is thoughtful in the locker room, his eyes scanning over them. He’s not yelling. He’s not looking defeated. He looks like he’s weighing his options. 

“Okay, this is what we’re going to do,” he says finally, and everyone leans in. “Sonnett, you’re going in at right back. Krieger, you’re going to add some more fresh legs to the field at center back. Dahlkemper, you’ll come out. I don’t want you to overdo after that collision at the end of the half. Lloyd, you’re going to come out, too, Press you’re going to slide into the 9 position. Horan, you’re going to start the second half for Lavelle.” 

Everyone watches as he draws on the board, setting up the field, everyone’s leaning in, everyone is eager to change the tides of the game. 

“Heath, are you good to stay in for now?”

Tobin nods. She’s hungry for it. Her shots have been blocked all night and she wants to score. 

“Great. And O’Hara, you’re going to move up and play right wing. We need your defensive mind and your crossing skills. Got it?”

There’s a bit of a stunned silence and Sonny turns to look at Kelley. They all know she has the potential to score. They all know she was a star forward for Stanford. Still, somehow, this seems like a strange choice. It’s like everyone is waiting to see how Kelley is going to react before they decide if it’s a good decision or not. 

Kelley’s face goes from surprised to determined, and then she smirks, jumps to her feet and yells, “LET’S FUCKING DO THIS!”

  
  


Sonny finds Kelley up the field like the ball is a magnet being pulled between them. Every pass connects. It’s like Sonny knows where she is without even having to look. It’s like Kelley can read her mind before she’s even moved to pass the ball. 

Kelley and Christen and Tobin are all connecting well too. 

Kelley get’s Christen a cross that goes just wide, then another that bounces over the net off of the keeper’s fingertips. 

Tobin’s header off of Christen’s corner kick gets blocked by a defender who happens to be at the right place at the right time. 

It’s frustrating, but they’re dictating play more now, keeping more possession, pressing and pressing and sooner or later something is going to have to give. 

And then it does. 

89th minute, Tobin dribbles down the sideline, double-teamed by Japan’s defense, but in true Tobin fashion she gets around them and sends off a cross to Christen who takes one touch to settle and then shoots. It’s a rocket and it’s gorgeous, back across the goal, but someone gets a knee on it, just enough to knock it into the post and back out before it crosses the goal line. Except that Kelley is right there, in the box, right where she needs to be, and so she taps it in, right through a defender’s legs, past the keeper who hasn’t recovered from trying to keep Christen’s shot out yet.

The stands erupt, but Sonny barely hears it because Kelley has just scored and all she can do is yell in happiness and race towards her. 

Christen and Tobin beat her to Kelley, they’re holding her close, heaping praise on her, Christen and Kelley yelling encouragement right into each other’s faces, but Sonny piles on, leaping towards them, and somehow Kelley half catches her, Kelley’s arm pulling her in. 

And then Kelley’s lips are hot on her ear as she says, “I scored that one for you!”

Sonny knows that there are probably a hundred cameras trained on them right now and she knows that her face is turning red, but she doesn’t care. As Lindsey and Sammy join the group hug, slamming everyone closer together, Sonny presses a kiss right onto Kelley’s cheek. 

She catches Tobin’s eye over Kelley’s shoulder as she lingers in the hug. She sees the smirk and the eyebrow raise. And she sees the slight nod of approval, too. 

This moment feels like a lot and Sonny is 100% okay with it.

  
  


“Go out with me,” Kelley murmurs into her ear. 

They’re heading out to different clubs in different cities in different states tomorrow, but tonight they’re in the same place and maybe that’s enough. 

“Go out with me tonight,” Kelley requests again. “On a date.”

Sonny nods, not trusting her voice, the smile on her face hopefully speaking volumes. 

“Let’s go,” Kelley says, taking her hand and tugging her away from the group. 

“I’m not really dressed for a date,” Sonny tries to protest. 

“Me neither, but I want you, not a phoney made up version of you presented for a date. We’ll have time for fancy dressing later. Tonight I just want you.”

Sonny tries not to hear too much in her words. She tries not to think that maybe Kelley loves her too. Instead she focuses on what she’s saying. Kelley wants her. Kelley’s ready. 

They’re going on a date. 

  
  


They find a small restaurant that’s not too far from the hotel, but not too busy either and they order food. The first date nerves that Sonny expects somehow don’t come. They talk about the game, they talk about the upcoming season, they talk about the friendlies in April, just a month away, a virtual promise that they’ll see each other again soon enough. 

They don’t talk about parting ways. They don’t talk about how Orlando still doesn’t feel like home and how many hours it is from Salt Lake City. They don’t talk about empty spaces in beds. 

They talk about families and fourth of July traditions. They talk about Georgia and golf carts.

And then-

“Know what they have in Orlando?” Kelley asks as they split a piece of pecan pie. 

Sonny grins as she asks, “What?” 

Kelley looks straight at her, as she says, “My girlfriend.”

Sonny can’t stop the smile that splits her face in two, stretching at her cheeks almost painfully. “Oh yeah? Who’s that?” she asks. 

Kelley laughs and kicks her gently under the table. “I was thinking you, but if I need to take other applications…”

“I was just waiting to be asked,” Sonny replies quickly. 

Kelley smirks at her and reaches across the table, claiming Sonny’s hand in her own. “I’m over her. I’ve been over her, but I wanted to be sure because-” Kelley takes a deep breath, the only hint of any nerves for her. “Because you’re something else, Em.”

And, oh, that’s- 

Sonny could get used to Kelley calling her that. 

“Is that weird? It felt a little weird, but Sonny didn’t feel right right now, and-”

“I like it,” Sonny assures her. 

Kelley smiles. “Good.”

“I’m something else, huh?” Sonny echoes Kelley’s words. 

“I mean, don’t get a big head about it or anything, but- This feels like- Like the universe was waiting for us to happen, like the trade and the time together after was all inevitable to make me see that-” 

There’s a faint blush on Kelley’s cheeks and it’s nothing short of adorable. 

“Hey, you know what’s in Orlando?” Sonny asks with a grin. 

“My girlfriend?” Kelley suggests. 

Sonny leans across the table, not caring if anyone in the restaurant recognizes them, and kisses Kelley softly. “You’re so smart.”

  
  


Sonny finds a smile on her face as she walks through the door to her Orlando apartment. She looks around and sees Kelley sitting on her couch arguing about a Netflix show. And Kelley in her kitchen cooking tacos for her. She knows that when she walks into her bedroom she’ll be able to see Kelley laying in her bed. 

She’s not really there. She won’t be for a while. The Royals don’t come to Orlando for a few months yet, but Sonny sees the imprint of her there all the same. 

The essence of Kelley lingers in the space. 

Kelley O’Hara. 

Her girlfriend.

She bites her lip and grins, pulling out her phone. 

There’s a text waiting for her. It’s a picture of Kelley pouting, pointing at her bed with the caption, “Sonny-less :(“. 

It floods Sonny’s chest with warmth. 

When she replies an hour later it’s with a crude photoshop and the caption, “Fixed it.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny and Kelley settle into their relationship and how to handle it as teammates and also rivals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally really the last chapter! Thanks for coming on this ride with me. It's become my favorite story and I'm a little sad to be saying goodbye to it actually. Heads up to anyone who doesn't like it: there is smut in this chapter (the bulk of the bigger stuff is really early). I really love these two so much. Really hoping at least some of what I've predicted for games comes true, lol. Also, it's unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading, and enjoy!   
xx

Long distance sucks, but it’s also okay. 

It’s okay because if they were together in person, Sonny is sure she would have blurted it out by now. It’s okay because it makes her not feel as guilty about taking the time to bond with her teammates properly, to find her own cool things to do in Orlando, to make her own friends on her own terms. It’s okay because it means that they’re taking things slow, they’re not rushing into the physical. 

That isn’t to say that they don’t feel the heat between them, even thousands of miles apart. 

They facetime just about daily, and Sonny’s been feeling a bit, well-

Honestly, it’s not her fault when Kelley answers in just a sports bra and shorts, when she’s very clearly purposefully angling the camera so that Sonny can see her abs, can see down between her cleavage, can see the cut of her collarbone. 

It’s really not her fault that she gets a little distracted, that Kelley catches her biting her lip, that she forgets to listen as images swirl in her mind. 

“Huh?”

“You okay there, Em? You look a little flushed.”

The nickname does something to her. Kelley only ever uses it when it’s just the two of them, and it feels special somehow, like it’s just theirs, like she’s just Kelley’s. She feels it low and it sends a shiver through her. 

“Yeah. I’m fine.” Her voice comes out hoarse so she clears her throat and tries again. “Fine.”

“You seem a little thirsty, babe. Maybe you should have a drink.”

The smirk on Kelley’s face tells Sonny all she needs to know. Kelley planned this. She’s encouraging it. 

And Sonny can’t help but play right into it. 

Fuck. 

“The drink I want is a little far away, babe.” She shoots the pet name right back at her and watches as it hits, watches the way Kelley’s lips part a little and her tongue pokes through just a tiny bit. 

“Yeah? Like how far?” Kelley asks, and her voice is a little bit husky now. 

“Like a little over 2,300 miles,” Sonny replies pointedly. 

“That’s an awfully long way to go for a drink.”

“It’s the only one that’s apt to quench my thirst, though.”

“God, how long until we see each other again?”

“Too long,” Sonny whines. 

“Way too long given how badly I want to kiss you,” Kelley agrees. She bites her lip and Sonny sees her eyes glance down. There’s no skin on display on her end, though.

Sonny’s sitting there in a white T-shirt and shorts, but she feels like...like maybe- 

She feels a little bold. She props her phone up and stretches. 

“You know, it’s already getting kind of hot in Orlando,” she says. “You don’t mind if I just-”

She doesn’t wait for a response before pulling off her T-shirt, and she watches as Kelley takes her in, as she licks at her lips and her eyes focus distinctly below Sonny’s eyes. 

“Fuck,” Kelley murmurs. “I really wish- I want-”

Sonny feels the blush forming on her cheeks and the heat rising up her neck and she knows - She knows she’s going to be bright red soon. 

But the way that Kelley is looking at her is so worth it. 

“Remind me why we didn’t make the most of it while we were actually in the same place?” Kelley asks. 

“We didn’t want to rush,” Sonny reminds her. 

“Fuck.”

Sonny has to agree. She’s looking at the pattern of freckles across Kelley’s chest, at the curve of her breast, at the muscles disappearing beneath Kelley’s shorts. She wants to feel. She wants to taste. She wants so fucking much. 

“Is it too cheesy to say I’m counting down the days until I get to see you again?”

Kelley shakes her head. “Is it too cheesy to say I’ve already looked up flights for the next time I have a whole week between games?” 

Sonny feels a slight thrill in her chest at that. “You have?”

“Too much?”

“Not at all.”

“What if I say that the first thing I want to do when I get there is pin you against the wall and have my way with you?”

Sonny’s breath hitches, and she catches the hint of color on Kelley’s cheeks. “God, PLEASE,” she gasps in reply. 

She doesn’t need to tell Kelley that as soon as they hang up she’s shoving her hand into her shorts, already soaking wet, already on edge. She doesn’t need to tell Kelley that just the hint of what she’s promising turns her on more than anything she’s ever done with anyone else. 

  
  


She flies out two days early. She can’t help it. She talks to Marc (and it’s kind of weird having another Mark/Marc as a coach, but they’re pretty different, so it’s kind of okay too) and he lets her go. 

She doesn’t tell Kelley she’s coming. 

She doesn’t know if it’s stupid or a really good decision, but she’s kind of wishing that she’d at least thought to ascertain that Kelley was in fact going to be home when she got there as she stands outside of Kelley’s apartment, waiting for her to answer the door. 

She knocks for a second time and holds her breath. She’s on the verge of pulling out her phone and texting Christen to see if she happens to know where Kelley is as she tries knocking for a third time, when a very wet Kelley opens the door, wrapped in nothing but a towel, hair falling in loose waves, still dripping. 

“Fuck!” Sonny gasps, her mouth going dry at the expanse freckled skin across Kelley’s shoulders and chest. 

“Sonny?” 

“Surprise?” Sonny suggests, but her eyes are trailing down toned arms to muscular thighs. 

She’s barely realized that maybe she should say more, when Kelley is yanking her inside, grabbing her suitcase, too, and pinning her against her door. 

“Hi,” Kelley breathes breathlessly against her lips between kisses. 

“Hi,” Sonny sighs into the next kiss, wrapping her arms tightly around Kelley, feeling her hair dripping wet spots onto her T-shirt and not caring in the slightest. 

But then the pressure of Kelley against her is gone and her lips are decidedly not being kissed anymore. 

Her eyes flutter open and she sees Kelley, standing back with a smirk on her face, hands on her towel. 

“Were you just going to open the door for anyone wearing nothing but a towel?” Sonny teases, trying to get her brain to focus on anything besides how close Kelley is to being naked and failing miserably. 

“I wasn’t planning on it being anybody I was actually going to let in,” Kelley replies, eyes full of mischief. 

Sonny can’t help the way her eyes fall to where Kelley’s fingers are holding the towel. And then Kelley’s opening the towel slowly and letting it fall to the floor, and Sonny loses all ability to form coherent thought. 

She whimpers, “Fuck,” as her eyes trail over Kelley’s naked body, tracing over constellations of freckles, over toned abs and pert breasts with perfect hard nipples, over muscular legs and that perfect V heading straight where she wants to be, wants to touch, wants to taste. 

“Like what you see?” Kelley asks, biting her lip and looking up at her cheekily. 

“Fuck,” Sonny repeats, and it comes out a little strangled. She’s overwhelmed with how much she wants, and it roots her to the spot. 

“Did I break you?” Kelley teases, taking a step forward and reaching out for Sonny. 

“Maybe,” Sonny replies, only half joking. She lets Kelley take her hand and pull her into a kiss and then, only then, does it click in her brain that she is making out with a very naked Kelley O’Hara. 

“Fuck,” she whimpers again. She’s suddenly not sure what to do with her hands. This is exactly why she came here and now she’s- 

Well, she’s kind of freaking out a little, if she’s honest. 

Kelley must sense that because she pulls back and the smirk and the confidence that had been evident on her face a moment before are gone, and she looks unsure with a blush coloring her cheeks and her arm half wrapped across her chest, not actually really covering anything, but almost like she suddenly wants to. 

“Sorry,” she mumbles. “Too much, too soon, I just-”

She’s being so, so stupid. Her gorgeous girlfriend is NAKED in front of her and is apologizing? 

“Shut up,” Sonny growls, and then she’s pinning Kelley against the wall in her own entry hall, fingers trailing down Kelley’s bare sides, feeling the smooth skin and tense muscles as Kelley lets out a surprised little yelp before kissing her back eagerly. 

Sonny’s way behind in the being undressed thing, though, and it feels far too uneven, so she steps back and kicks off her shoes and tugs off her socks, almost falling over in the process, and then she stands up and peels off her shirt before Kelley is kissing her again. 

“Bedroom?” she pants into Kelley’s mouth, sucking Kelley’s tongue into her mouth when it’s offered. 

“Too far. Couch?” Kelley counters. 

Sonny nods and kisses down Kelley’s jaw as they start to stumble blindly in that direction. 

It’s after Sonny trips over the rug and they both bump into the end table that Kelley breaks away and takes Sonny by the hand and leads her to the couch. And Sonny can’t help it if she checks out Kelley’s ass in the process. Or if her cheeks turn bright red when Kelley catches her at it with a smirk. 

And then Kelley is pushing her down on the couch and straddling her legs, fingers curling under the waistband of her sweatpants, and Sonny forgets how to breathe. 

Kelley - naked and fit, her eyes dark and focussed, her lips a little red, a little puffy, her weight pressing into her legs, holding her down - is the sexiest sight she’s ever seen in her life. “Can I?” Kelley asks, and Sonny nods quickly, lifting her hips to help as Kelley tugs off her sweats and her underwear,, and then she’s naked except for her sports bra, with Kelley settling back on her hips, and she can FEEL that Kelley’s wet where she’s pressing into her stomach. 

Kelley’s hands slide up her abs, and then Kelley’s fingers are poking at her bra, and she’s saying, “Off,” and Sonny’s awkwardly doing a half sit-up as Kelley helps her out of it, and then they’re both completely naked. Kelley’s looking down at her with a hunger and an intensity that makes her squirm. Her hair is still wet, dripping cold wet drops onto Sonny’s skin that make her shiver. 

But then Kelley surges down to kiss her and Sonny forgets what cold even is because suddenly she’s on fire. Kelley licks into her mouth and Sonny moans. She moans as Kelley’s fingers trace over her sides and slide up to cup her breasts. She moans as Kelley’s thumbs brush over her nipples, first lighter, and then more firmly. She bucks up as Kelley rolls one nipple between her thumb and her finger, and Kelley chuckles into her mouth. 

“You like that?” Kelley teases as she does it again. 

Kelley shifts a little above her and she feels the wet trail she leaves and Sonny remembers that she’s got some power here, too, she can retaliate. 

She rocks up a little and Kelley’s breath catches. “Fuck,” Kelley breathes out when Sonny does it again. 

Sonny’s hands had settled on Kelley’s thighs, but now she remembers that they can do more. She can do more. She’s allowed to touch. She’s allowed to feel. She slides her hands up, pressing her thumbs into Kelley’s hips, holding her down as she rocks her hips up again, watching as Kelley sits up a little and her eyes flutter closed, her lip caught between her teeth. 

“Again,” Kelley gasps, and Sonny can feel how she’s getting wetter, how she wants more, so Sonny does it again, feeling a surge of confidence that she can do this to Kelley, she can make her sound almost needy. 

Kelley’s fingers pinch at her nipple and Sonny arches into the touch. 

“Kel,” she moans. 

“Mm?” Kelley asks, her eyes opening. 

“I want-” 

Kelley tweaks her nipple again, then soothes over it with the pad of her thumb and Sonny stutters. 

“I want-”

Kelley’s fingers trail down her stomach, her nails scratching lightly. 

“Fuck, I need you to fuck me!”

It’s like Kelley’s been waiting to be asked, because she shifts easily, laying on top of her, kissing her deeply as her legs slot between Sonny’s, her weight to the side a bit as she works her hand between Sonny’s legs. 

“Whatever you want, baby,” Kelley murmurs against her lips as she dips a finger into Sonny, just a little, just teasingly. Kelley places a quick kiss on Sonny’s lips that Sonny tries to chase, but Kelley is already kissing a hot path to her ear, where she says, “You only had to ask.” 

And then she’s sliding a finger in properly, pressing it in with her body as she kisses and licks at Sonny’s throat, behind her ear, teeth grazing against her pulse point. 

It’s so much already, and yet not enough, so Sonny gasps, “More. Please.”

Kelley does it. She adds another finger, her thumb sliding over Sonny’s clit, her lips sucking a mark into the hollow above her collarbone, and Sonny is already writhing beneath her, can already feel her orgasm building. 

It’s a little embarrassing how quickly she’s gotten to this point. 

Except it’s Kelley. Kelley who she’s had a crush on forever. Kelley who she’s been pining after. Kelley who she’s finally dating, who she’s finally allowed to kiss and touch as much as she want. Kelley who’s leaving a mark on her skin for the whole world to see, who’s thrusting into her a little harder, a little faster, who wants her so much that they couldn’t even make it to the bedroom. 

“God, it feels so good!” Sonny groans into the crook of Kelley’s neck, into wet hair that tickles her nose. “You feel- You feel so good.”

She’s rocking her hips up to meet Kelley’s thrusts, and she can feel Kelley’s wetness on her thigh, so she bends her knee a bit, feeling the way Kelley bears down on it more, feeling the way that Kelley’s thrusts are a little more frantic, a little less refined, and it strikes her that she’s not the only one who’s so affected by this. 

“Fuck, Em,” Kelley moans, and that cuts straight through Sonny, her name on Kelley’s lips, falling so freely, sounding so turned on. 

It takes her even closer to the edge. 

“Say it again,” Sonny asks, her arms wrapping around Kelley, holding her closer, helping her grind down onto her thigh. 

“Fuck,” Kelley repeats. 

“No. Not that.” As hot as Kelley swearing is, it’s not what spiked through her, straight to her core. “My name. Say it again.”

Kelley pulls back, just a little, just enough to look Emily in the eye’s a question in them that Sonny can’t quite read, but must give enough of an answer for anyway, because Kelley kisses her then and breathes, “Em,” against her lips. 

“God, you’re so sexy, Em. I’ve had such a hard time keeping my hands to myself. Every time I’ve been near you, every time we’re in the same room, all I want to do is touch you, kiss you, make you come.” Kelley presses the words into Sonny’s lips, into her cheek, along her jaw, into the shell of her ear. 

She keeps up her pace and grinds down against Sonny, and Sonny feels like she’s holding on for dear life, each word, each admission from Kelley’s lips pushing her closer, each thrust, each curl of Kelley’s fingers inside of her making her tremble more and more. 

“I’ve thought about this so much,” Kelley says into her neck. “Thought about making you moan. Thought about making you scream my name.” 

“Fuck, Kelley,” Sonny whimpers as Kelley presses into her with a little more weight, as she curls her fingers a little bit more. 

“Thought about doing this while I touched myself,” Kelley adds. 

“You-?” Sonny’s question gets cut off in a gasp as Kelley’s teeth graze against her collarbone. “Fuck, really?” she manages when Kelley’s tongue is pressing against her skin, soothing it. 

“So much,” Kelley admits. “You just turn me on so much, Em.”

“God!” Sonny whines. 

She’s so close. It really won’t take much more. It’s like each word Kelley speaks is pushing her closer, and all she needs is-

“You’re just so fucking sexy, and I just want- I want- I need you to come for me, baby. Can you do that, Em? Will you come for me? Want to watch you come.”

Sonny’s eyes slam shut and she’s pushing her head back almost painfully into the couch and her body is arching up into Kelley’s touch, and Kelley’s name is falling from her lips as spasms wrack through her. 

“Fuck, Kel- Kelley! Fuck! God! I’m coming! Fuck!” 

And then she can’t form coherent words anymore as her entire body shakes and all she can feel is wave after wave of pleasure. 

  
  


She collapses bonelessly after, Kelley’s fingers still inside her, sliding in and out slowly, almost tenderly, helping her down. And then Kelley’s slipping her fingers out and bringing them to her lips and the moan that she lets out as she tastes her for the first time makes Sonny spasm all over again. 

“God, that was so fucking hot,” Kelley murmurs, and when she kisses Sonny again, Sonny can taste herself on her lips. 

Kelley ruts against her thigh as the kiss heats up, and Sonny remembers-

She remembers that Kelley isn’t the only one who’s been imagining, that Kelley’s not the only one who’s wanted to make the other fall apart, and that Kelley is now the only one who hasn’t come yet. 

She needs to fix that. She needs to fix that now. 

“Need you- Need to taste you. Need to-”

“Bedroom,” Kelley says, climbing off of her and holding out a hand. Sonny’s is on her feet, taking her hand before she can even agree. 

  
  


They make it as far as the bedroom door. 

It’s just that Kelley is right there, and she’s naked, and she has this smirk on her face, and her hair is drying in loose waves, and her lips look so thoroughly kissed, and-

Well, Sonny just can’t keep her hands to herself. 

She presses Kelley into the door with her body weight and lets herself feel Kelley properly, lets her hands wander over smooth skin and tense muscles. 

“Fuck, Em-” There’s a needy, whiny quality to Kelley’s voice, like she can’t really wait any longer. 

Sonny kisses along her jaw and down her throat. She runs her thumbs over Kelley’s nipples, presses them into her hips, kisses and licks her way down Kelley’s body, and then she drops to her knees. 

There’s a low groan from above her and when she looks up into Kelley’s face, she’s looking down at her with so much want that Sonny can’t resist, she can’t help but give her what she wants. 

Her first touch to Kelley makes Kelley’s hips buck forward. It’s just a small touch, just her fingers probing a little, feeling just how wet Kelley is as she kisses a mark into Kelley’s skin just inside her hipbone. 

“Fuck, Em if you don’t- If you-”

Sonny lifts one of Kelley’s legs over her shoulder. Her wetness is evident on her inner thighs and somehow that’s the sexiest thing ever, the knowledge that she’s turned Kelley on this much, that she’s this wanted. 

She licks a hard path up Kelley’s thigh, tasting her, just a hint, and then she needs to taste more, she needs to taste properly. 

Kelley lets out a long moan as Sonny licks up and through her for the first time. 

She does it again a little different, flicking her tongue just a little over Kelley’s clit at the end. Kelley’s fingers tangle in her hair as she works out just what Kelley likes, what makes Kelley moan, what makes her gasp, what makes her legs start to shake. Kelley pulls at her hair a little when she sucks on Kelley’s clit, and it makes her want to do it again and again. 

“Em, I’m gonna- I’m so fucking-”

Sonny doesn’t let up. She can feel the way she’s baring more of Kelley’s weight, feel the way that her fingernails are digging almost painfully into her scalp. 

She maneuvers so that she can work two fingers into Kelley. The angle is a little awkward and her wrist hurts a little but the way that Kelley swears makes it worth it. 

“Em, fuck! I’m- God, you’re so good. You’re so fucking- God, and I just- Don’t stop! Fuck! So good! Em! Baaaby!” The last word is moaned out as Kelley shakes against her mouth and Sonny laps at her, feels her spasm around her fingers, feels her tip over the edge. 

  
  


Later-

Later they do make it to the bed. 

Later Sonny comes against Kelley’s mouth, her knuckles white as she grips at the sheets. 

Later Kelley comes, her hands braced on the headboard and her thighs on either side of Sonny’s head. 

Later Kelley needs another shower and Sonny goes with her and they both come as steam swirls around them and their wrists strain and they moan into each other’s mouths. 

Later they make it back into bed, naked and wet and wrapped in each other, their bodies spent. 

(Later, much later, Sonny traces the words, “I love you” into Kelley’s back and hopes she can’t follow the letters to figure it out.)

  
  


It takes every ounce of their self-control for them to drag themselves out of bed for training the next two days. Only the looming presence of the Olympics this summer motivates them to do it. 

When they’re alone, when they’re inside together, they can’t keep their hands off of each other. They let themselves exist in a bubble, just the two of them, where nothing else really matters. Not teammates or call ups or friendlies or outside responsibilities. For two days they let themselves just be together. 

It’s only the night before everyone else is due to arrive that they pull themselves from the bubble to acknowledge certain things. Things like the fact that the first hickeys they gave each other are only starting to fade and the ones from that day are bold on their skin. Things like the fact that soon they’ll be surrounded by people who know them well, people they’ll change around, people who will notice the hickeys. Things like the fact that they haven’t told anyone. Not really. Not outside of Ali and Ash and Lindsey. 

“Does Tobin know?”

“Tobin knows everything,” Kelley sighs. “Not really. I haven’t told her, but she always watches. Like she just takes everything in and she reads people well. And Chris called me out on my crush at qualifying, and you know there aren’t any secrets between them.” Kelley shrugs. 

“So what do we do?” Sonny asks, tracing circles on Kelley’s stomach with her finger, trying to keep herself from feeling too anxious about everything. She focuses on the way Kelley’s muscles tense under her touch, of the feel of her skin beneath the pad of her finger, on the pattern of freckles she’s tracing around. 

Kelley’s hand strokes through her hair and Sonny nuzzles into her chest a little more. “What do you want to do?”

Sonny doesn’t know. That’s part of the problem. That’s part of what is making anxiety coil in her gut, tight and uncomfortable. On the one hand-

Well, on the one hand, she wants to shout it from the mountaintops. She wants the world to know that she’s with Kelley, Kelley is hers, and she’s never been happier. She wants to spend all her time with Kelley, know everything about her, talk to her, kiss her, know her in a way that nobody else gets to. (She wants to tell her that she loves her and never stop, but she doesn’t dare. Not yet. Not so soon.) She had texted Emma every day in between when Kelley had left and when she’d come to see her, just to be able to talk to someone who wasn’t Kelley about Kelley, about how much she likes her, about whatever cute thing she’d texted that day, about the way she’d scrunched up her nose adorably when she laughed during their facetime call. She had found herself gushing to Ali and Ash whenever they asked after Kelley, unable to stop the rush of words or the goofy smile on her face. 

On the other hand there’s a reason why Ali and Ash kept their relationship private for so long. There’s something special and precious about this bubble that’s just got the two of them in it. And their relationship is so new. It feels delicate still somehow, like inviting more people into it might tip the balance from this comfortable thing they’re developing to something shakier. And if they do tell the team do they tell the coaches? Will it affect their work? Their jobs? How their teammates see them on the field? The more open they are, how long until the fans find out? How long until they can’t tag each other on twitter or instagram without hundreds of fans calling them out, invading their privacy? 

“I don’t know,” Sonny admits, turning her head to bury her face in the smooth skin of Kelley’s stomach, her finger stilling. 

Kelley strokes her hair again, soothingly, calmly, but Sonny can feel embarrassment tingeing her cheeks. 

“We can play it by ear,” Kelley says. “But we should probably have a response in place because, well, people are apt to notice, I think.”

Sonny doesn’t move. She doesn’t react, and now it’s Kelley’s hand that stills, fingers still threaded through her hair. 

“Does that bother you?”

There’s a hint of something in her voice, something that tugs at her heart strings, and makes her push up to look Kelley in the eyes. “No!” she answers a little too quickly and Kelley raises an eyebrow at her. She takes a deep breath and tries again. “No.” It feels a little truer. And it should. It’s true. It doesn’t bother her that people will notice. It bothers her that people might judge. That people might think they get a say in this. (That people might see, that they might know-)

“Sonny?” 

“I like you.”

Kelley smirks. “I mean I kind of worked that out, but thanks for the confirmation.” 

“A lot,” Sonny adds. It’s not the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but she needs Kelley to know, needs her to understand that- 

Before other people can see it and say-

Kelley’s brows furrow a little and she says, “In case this isn’t clear, I like you a lot too, Em.”

Sonny nods and she swallows and the words are at the tip of her tongue, they’re screaming across her mind, they’re pounding in her chest with every thump of her heart, but she says, “So if the whole team knows it, then that’s okay with me. Because I’m so lucky to get to have you in my life like this.”

It is very probably the sappiest thing she’s ever said and confusion mixed with amusement flashes in Kelley’s eyes as she pulls Sonny in for a languid kiss, but it’s still not the whole truth, it’s still not the right words, and Sonny can’t think of anything else as she kisses Kelley back. 

“Then if they ask us, we’ll tell them the truth,” Kelley murmurs against her lips. “Because I don’t want to have to hide the way I feel about you.” 

Part of Sonny wants to scream, “And how do you feel about me exactly?” but she doesn’t. She swipes her tongue into Kelley’s mouth and brings her hand up to cup Kelley’s breast and moves more on top of her to slide her thigh up between Kelley’s legs and for now, for tonight, she lets her body do the talking. 

  
  


It takes all of about half an hour for Rose to corner Sonny and say, “Okay what’s the deal with you and Kelley?”, her hands on her hips, her eyebrows raised expectantly. 

Sonny can feel her cheeks flush, she can feel the way Sammy has looked up from where she’s retying her laces, and she can feel the way Lindsey is suddenly finding the grass nearby incredibly interesting. 

“Hmm?” she asks, like she hasn’t heard her incredibly clearly, like Kelley’s eyes aren’t currently on her from where she’s stretching and talking to Alyssa. 

“You and Kelley,” Rose repeats. “There’s something going on there. What is it?”

Sonny meets Kelley’s gaze, and it’s like Kelley knows, like she’s been waiting for this already, even though they’ve barely gotten started with practice, and Kelley nods. Just a small nod, and Sonny takes a deep breath in. 

“We’re dating,” she says, hoping it comes across like it’s no big deal, bending down to adjust her shinguard. 

Rose squeals, though, and Sammy says, “Wait, what?” and scrambles to her feet before her left cleat is done being tied, almost tripping over it in the process, and even Lindsey’s eyes go a little wide. 

“For how long?” Rose presses at the same time that Sammy says, “When did this happen?”

Sonny shrugs. She shrugs like it’s not actually a huge deal. Like it hasn’t changed her entire life. Like she isn’t already so sunk that if they broke up it would break her. (Like it isn’t all a little bit terrifying.) “Not that long.”

“Is it serious?” Sammy asks. 

“We haven’t been dating that long,” Sonny repeats, fully aware that she’s blushing an even deeper shade of red. She could probably audition for the role of Rudolph’s nose if this conversation goes on much longer. 

“It’s serious,” Lindsey mutters. 

And Sonny is simultaneously annoyed and relieved, because suddenly Rose and Sammy shift their attention to Lindsey. 

“You knew??” Rose demands. 

Lindsey straightens and looks past Rose as she says, “I mean not that they were officially dating, but-”

“How come she got to know?” Rose rounds on Sonny again, and really she should have known that her relief would be short-lived. 

“I just figured it out,” Lindsey says, and she sounds a little bit defensive. 

Sonny’s eyes search out Kelley again, but she’s not talking to Alyssa anymore. She’s striding towards their group, her eyebrows slightly furrowed. 

And then she’s sliding her arm around Sonny’s waist in a way that she might have done before without anyone commenting, but this time Sonny is painfully aware of the way three sets of eyes zero in on it. Before Kelley would have been grinning and cracking a joke, but now, in this moment, she’s leaning in and asking, “Okay?” in a concerned voice, eyes focussed on Sonny. 

It’s a lot. All the focus on her is a lot. 

She doesn’t like being the focus of attention. Not like this. Not when she’s being serious. Not when she’s not dancing and goofing around and TRYING to make people laugh and pay attention to her. 

“Yeah,” she murmurs, but Kelley must feel the way her back stiffens, must feel the way that she shifts subtly away, because she drops her arm from around Sonny’s waist and then crosses her arms across her chest. “Questions? Comments?” she asks, instead, turning her attention to Rose, Sammy, and Lindsey. 

Sonny hears Pinoe say, “What’s going on?” and when Sonny glances over, Ash is talking in a low voice in Pinoe’s ear and Pinoe’s eyes are going wide with a shit-eating grin on her face. 

Sonny can practically see the way the rest of the team is going to find out, the way the rumors will start to swirl, the way some of them will ask them and some of them will just assume, the way people will act differently around them, and attention will shift from their skills with a ball to their relationship. 

Part of her really just wants to disappear back to the locker room, to move away from all the prying eyes and the curious glances. 

She’s here to do her job, though. 

She moves away. She moves away from the way Rose and Sammy are now looking between Kelley and Sonny like they have a million questions bursting to get out. She moves away from the comfort of Kelley’s presence beside her. 

She moves out to where Tobin is juggling a ball, steals it right from her, takes a few touches, and then kicks it as hard as she can towards the far goal. It sails through the air, takes a bounce, then two, and rolls into the untended net. The boom of her foot connecting with the ball seems to have pulled the rest of the team’s attention towards her, though, which she realizes as she turns back towards them. Some of the coaching staff is looking her way now, too.

She fights the urge to do a dance, to pull some goofy faces and fall on purpose, to do anything to get a laugh. She can’t keep running every time she’s anxious. That’s not how grown ups approach a relationship. She looks straight at Kelley, hoping that she’ll understand, that she’ll get what she’s about to do, that she’ll somehow say it’s okay. 

Kelley takes a few steps towards her, her face is open, the hints of a smile on her lips, and it’s enough. 

“Are we here to play soccer or are we gonna waste all this time talking about how Kelley and I are dating now?” Sonny calls out. 

She doesn’t watch for the reactions. She doesn’t want to. She hears Tobin chuckle behind her and she kicks up another ball that’s nearby, juggling once, twice, three, times, and then she kicks it up in a perfect arch to Kelley, who takes possession easily, continuing the juggling. 

“Fútbol!” Kelley calls back with a grin. 

“Fútbol!” Ali, Ash, and Tobin all echo. 

And then everyone else is shouting it too, and it’s out there, and Vlatko is blowing his whistle and everyone is huddling up. 

Sonny simultaneously feels like she’s barely breathing and breathing freely for the first time today. When Kelley slides her arm around her in the huddle, she grins openly at her, just for a second, and sees Kelley beaming back. 

She thinks maybe she loves her even more in this moment. 

  
  


Sonny loves and hates playing Australia. She loves it because she gets to see friends and it’s always a good game. She hates it for the same reasons. They have to play against her friends and they have to play HARD. 

It’s worse when Hayley gets Australia on the board first off of a great assist from Kerr. It’s worse still when they go into the half down by one. And then Christen equalizes at the start of the second half just for Caitlin to pass Kerr a beautiful cross that Alyssa just can’t get enough of a touch on to keep out two minutes later. 

It feels like they could actually lose this game, and it hasn’t felt like that in a while. 

They haven’t been behind like this in a while. 

What’s worse is that they’ve actually had the bulk of possession. They’ve had more shots on frame. Lydia Williams is busy, but she’s good. It’s like her gloves are magic tonight. 

And then Vlatko is calling Sonny to sub in with half an hour left in the game and she thinks, no. She thinks Kelley can’t come out. She thinks Kelley is having an amazing game. She’s pushing forward, she’s creating opportunities. Hell she assisted Christen’s goal. She can’t come out. 

Except Vlatko tells Sonny the plan and she grins from ear to ear because Kelley isn’t coming out at all. 

The number 10 flashes up on the board in red next to Sonny’s number in green and the look on Carli’s face is a bit priceless as she jogs to the sidelines. 

“What?” Carli asks. 

“KO forward again,” Sonny replies, unable to keep the glee from her voice. 

Carli nods and gives Sonny a high ten as Sonny runs onto the field. 

“Go score for me, babe,” Sonny greets Kelley with a light tap on the ass that she hopes the cameras maybe missed. 

Kelley looks momentarily confused, but Christen is already shuffling into the ten position. She’s already caught on. And Tobin is moving to the left wing. 

And then it clicks, and Sonny can see the excitement on Kelley’s face. They’ve talked about it before. Talked about how nice it was for Kelley to get to play forward again, how she’s missed it, how she loves her role on the team and she loves defense, but there was something about being a goal scorer that was hard to give up. 

“Give ‘em hell!” Sonny calls after Kelley as she races up the field. 

Kelley gives her a thumbs up and Sonny grins. 

  
  


They win 3-2 with a brace for Christen and Kelley pins Sonny to her locker with a searing kiss to let her know exactly who she’d scored her goal for. 

Alyssa throws her gloves at them and Becky throws a towel at them and they break apart laughing. 

“Congrats on dating, but don’t be nauseating,” Alyssa complains and Sonny sticks out her tongue at her while Kelley throws back her head and laughs. 

But then Mal mutters something about being gross and in love, and Sonny can practically feel the color drain from her face, even as Kelley keeps laughing. 

Sonny meet’s Ali’s eyes across the locker room and Ash appears over her shoulder with a mouthed, “You’re fine.” and Sonny closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. 

“You okay, babe?” Kelley murmurs in her ear. 

Sonny manages a smile and a nod. “We’ve gotta meet the Aussies for drinks don’t forget.”

“I could never,” Kelley replies. “Plus I owe Cait a jumpscare.”

And Sonny laughs and just like that it’s fine, it’s normal, the moment is passed. 

They’ve played their first game as a couple and they won and Kelley scored and everything is good. 

  
  


Kelley goes down against Brazil. Kelley goes down hard. She eats dirt and she clutches at her knee and Sonny is on her feet with Ash’s hand on her shoulder before she realizes that she’s even reacted. 

Kelley is down and Kelley isn’t standing right back up and Sonny forgets how to breathe and forgets that she’s supposed to stay off the field and only Ali’s hand on her wrist and Ash’s hand on her shoulder and Tobin pulling her backwards into an awkward hug keep her from running out there. 

“She’ll be fine. She’s Kelley,” Tobin soothes in her ear. 

“I love her,” Sonny blurts, her mind moving way too fast for her to keep up with her thoughts, let alone censor them. 

“I know,” Tobin says. “And she’ll be fine.”

Except Kelley stays down, and the trainers go out, and Alyssa is blocking Sonny’s view and has a hand on Kelley’s elbow, and Sonny feels like she might pass out. She feels like her blood is boiling and she needs to kick something or someone RIGHT THIS SECOND. She feels like if Kelley doesn’t stand up soon she’s going to run out there, everyone else be damned. 

And Rose moves in front of her and leans back into her, and Christen jogs away from Kelley and towards them, and Sonny knows. She knows it’s all a distraction and if they’re trying this hard to distract her then it’s not good. But they can’t distract her because all she sees is the tip of Kelley’s elbow sticking up in the air, her hand obviously over her face. And she can see the trainers bending her leg up and down. She can see the wince, even through Alyssa’s legs and over Rose’s shoulder and past Christen coming to a stop in front of her. 

“She’s okay,” Christen says with a smile straight as Sonny. 

“She’s not standing up,” Sonny points out. Because she’s not. She’s not even trying yet. She’s down and she’s not standing up and this game needs to be over now. It’s a fucking friendly. It doesn’t even matter. 

“She’ll be up in a second. She’s just getting over the pain,” Christen says. “It’s not her knee, it’s her shin. They clipped her just above the shinguard.”

But Sonny doesn’t believe her because Kelley has been clipped before. Kelley has been clipped and bounced right back up because she’s Kelley. And Kelley is not bouncing right back up. 

Except then she is and the crowd erupts in cheers and Kelley waves and gives a thumbs up, and then she looks right at Sonny and gives her a thumbs up too. Sonny can see where blood has seeped into her sock and where a large bandage is covering just below her knee and she sees the hint of a limp as Kelley starts to walk, but she’s walking and the trainers are backing off and Alyssa’s going back into goal. 

“She’s fine,” Tobin murmurs in her ear, arms wrapped firmly around her stomach still, chin on her shoulder. “See? She’s fine.”

And Sonny breathes out for what feels like the first time in a while. Her legs feel weak and she wonders briefly if she’d still be standing if Tobin wasn’t holding her. 

“Can’t keep Kelley down,” Ash adds.

And Christen is jogging back out to the field, and Kelley is jogging now, too, and the ball is back in play, and just like that Sonny knows. 

She knows this isn’t just puppy love. This isn’t just early relationship infatuation. This isn’t just something that’s going to maybe fade a bit as they settle into dating. This is it. 

Sonny has been officially dating Kelley O’Hara for approximately a month and she is totally and completely in love with her. 

  
  


They’re racing back to their clubs, trying to be there for the home openers. 

Kelley’s heading to Portland to face off against the Thorns and Sonny is heading back to Orlando to take on Sky Blue and they’ve already missed valuable practice time with their clubs. Really Marc was overly generous to let Sonny head out early, to let her miss. Maybe it means he has no plans on starting her. Maybe he never did. 

But right now Sonny doesn’t care because right now, right in this moment, Kelley is in her hotel room and kissing her senseless and Abby has fucked off to Sonny honestly doesn’t care where because it means the room is theirs. 

“Kel,” Sonny gasps as Kelley kisses down her throat. 

“Mm?” Kelley asks, and Sonny knows that she’s not really listening. She’s too focussed on her task. 

Really Sonny should let her focus. They only have a very limited time left in the same place and they really should make the most of it except-

“Kelley,” she tries again. 

“Yeah?” Kelley breathes against her collarbone, teeth grazing over the skin there. 

Sonny whimpers, arches into her. She gasps as Kelley’s hands slide up under her shirt, under her sports bra, fingers teasing across her nipples. 

She reaches up and grabs Kelley’s wrists, freezing her in place, aware that if Kelley keeps going she’s going to forget all about what she’s trying to say. What she NEEDS to say. 

“Kel.” 

Kelley finally pulls back, her hands dropping out from under Sonny’s shirt, her lips red and swollen, her hair already sticking out at odd ends from where Sonny has run her hands through it, her eyes dark. She looks so fucking sexy, so hot. Sonny almost forgets anyway, just from the sight of Kelley, just from Kelley wanting her so much, so openly. 

“What’s up?” Kelley asks, breathing a little heavily. 

Sonny takes a deep breath. She steels herself. She needs to say it, though. She needs to get it out. Even if it’s way too soon. Even if Kelley isn’t anywhere near where she is with this. She needs to say it or it will drive her crazy and come out at a time when it shouldn’t. She needs to say it because already it feels like too many people know and if Kelley finds out from someone else-

“Kelley, I need to tell you something.”

“You’re secretly straight but I’m just so sexy you couldn’t resist,” Kelley suggests with a smirk. 

Sonny laughs. She feels a little of the tension drain from her shoulders. “Wow, first guess. You’re too clever,” she teases back, playing into it. “Nobody can resist the natural charisma of Kelley O’Hara.”

“I know,” Kelley replies, dusting off her shoulders. “I’m irresistible.” 

Sonny laughs again, but then she bites her lip, remembering that actually there’s something very important she needs to say. 

Kelley must sense the shift, too, because she takes Sonny’s hands and leads her over to her bed and sits down with her. “What, Son? Is everything okay? Are you okay?” There’s concern laced into her voice now, and that’s not at all what Sonny wants. 

“Yes! I’m fine. I’m...everything’s okay, I just- You need to know. I need to tell you. I- It’s going to sound kind of ridiculous probably. I mean it’s been like a month since we actually got together and not that much longer that we were potential and, like, I had a head start on the crush, but it’s still probably way too soon, but Ali knows and Ash knows and Tobin knows, and whoever overheard me say it when you were down who was around me on the bench knows, and really you should have probably been the first to know-”

Kelley’s smirking now, her eyes dancing, crinkling in the corners as she lets Sonny ramble, and Sonny can feel the heat rising in her cheeks, but she keeps going. 

“Because, you know, you’re the one directly involved here, but I didn’t even realize it before I blurted it to Ali and Ash and we weren’t even us yet then so it was absolutely terrifying and then you were down and you weren’t getting up and I was freaking out more than a little and so I blurted it again, and I wasn’t even thinking about who could hear me because all I was thinking about was how you were down and I just really needed you to stand back up and-”

Kelley kisses her, her fingers under her chin, her breath hot on Sonny’s lips. She kisses her slowly and tenderly and when she pulls back she’s smiling broadly. “Cut to the chase, Em.”

Sonny lets out a shaky breath and looks straight into the eyes of the woman she loves and she tells her. 

Kelley grins wider and leans in and kisses her again. 

“Good.” 

Sonny pulls back. “Good? Good that I’m already so sunk that I’m in love with you a month into this? What if it goes south? What if we break up? What if-”

“What if I’m already falling in love with you, too? What if-” Kelley bites her lip and looks down, and there’s a blush on her cheeks, and Sonny can’t help thinking that shy Kelley, as rare a sight as she is, might be one of her favorite Kelley’s. “What if one month in this feels more right than any other relationship I’ve ever had?” Kelley asks. 

And it’s Sonny’s turn to lift Kelley’s chin and pull her into a kiss. 

And really, they have so little time together. They really should make the most of it. 

On the bed. 

In the shower. 

In the bed again. 

Until the early hours of the morning when they’re spent and wrapped safely in each other’s arms. 

And Kelley murmurs, “I love you, Em,” into Sonny’s hair right as she’s falling asleep. 

  
  


Utah loses to Portland. It feels weird to root against the Thorns, against Lindsey and Tobin and Sinc and AD and Ellie. It feels weird to groan when Sinc’s header hits the back of the net in the 61st minute. 

But it feels completely natural to root FOR Kelley. 

That’s what Ash points out to her when she mentions something about how weird it is, and she’s right. Rooting for Kelley is as easy as breathing. So when Kelley takes the ball from Tobin’s feet in the 88th minute and Christen ALMOST gets one past AD, Sonny doesn’t feel bad that she’s on her feet cheering. 

  
  


Orlando beats Sky Blue. 2-1. Korniek scored a beautiful goal off a corner from Syd, only for Mal to equalize five minutes later. The tie lasts through halftime, through the second half, until very the last minute and then Syd sends one curving into the back of the net. 

It feels like a promising start. 

When Sonny and Ali run to Syd and join in the group hug, when Ash hugs her and lifts her off her feet laughing after the final whistle, when Marta pats her on the back and says, “Nice slide tackle,” and when Ali Reilly picks her up from behind and spins her around saying, “Kel said you were good, but damn I’m glad we’re on the same team,” it feels like maybe Orlando might be a good place for her to be. 

  
  


Alex has her baby. 

Alex has a beautiful little baby girl and Sonny full on squeals when Kelley forwards her the pictures. 

And then Alex texts one to her, too, and Sonny remembers that they’re teammates. When she’s back from maternity leave they’ll be teammates. 

Kelley flies out to meet the baby instead of flying to Orlando, and Sonny doesn’t even care because when they facetime and Kelley is holding tiny baby Carrasco in her arms, so carefully, so reverently, smiling so wide as she whispers at the phone and coos at the baby, Sonny melts. She’s never really gotten that whole ovaries exploding thing, but right now, in this moment, she thinks, “Maybe someday we should have kids,” about her and Kelley. 

Except maybe she didn’t just think it because Kelley’s eyes go wide and her jaw falls open, and Sonny’s brain scrambles to make it not a ridiculous thing to have thought so soon into their relationship, but then Kelley’s grinning at her and kissing baby girl Carrasco on the head as Alex comes to take her from her, pausing to wave at Sonny, and Kelley’s saying, “I think I’d like that.”

  
  


“I love it when you play here,” Sonny murmurs into the crook of Kelley’s neck. 

They’d tied. They’d tied and they’d been frustrated on the field, in the 97 minutes of game play. They’d been frustrated and they’d gotten sloppy, and then the final whistle had blown and Kelley had pulled her into a hug and they’d both felt all the tension melt away. 

“Even if you lose?” Kelley teases, pressing a kiss to Sonny’s jaw. 

“We didn’t lose. We tied,” Sonny counters, tilting her head back to give Kelley better access to her throat. 

They’d signed some autographs and smiled for cameras and Kelley had given a post-game interview, and then they’d gotten out of there as fast as they could, high-tailing it back to Sonny’s apartment. 

“This time,” Kelley replies, her teeth raking down Sonny’s throat before her tongue soothes over the skin. 

“Next time we’ll beat you,” Sonny promises with a smirk. 

Kelley pinches her nipple and Sonny squeaks. 

“And if you don’t?” Kelley challenges, moving down to flick her tongue over Sonny’s nipple. 

It’s enough to make Sonny forget the question. It’s enough to make her arch up, to make her moan low as Kelley does it again then sucks her nipple into her mouth. 

Kelley repeats the question between her breasts, kissing a path across to her other nipple. 

“Then I’ll still win because I’ll get to bring you home with me after,” Sonny gasps.

But then Kelley stills. She lifts herself up and hovers for a moment, her eyes searching Sonny’s. 

“I think that’s the first time you’ve called Orlando home.”

And Kelley’s right. It is. It hits different. It doesn’t feel wrong, though. It hadn’t felt wrong as the crowd had cheered her name when she’d stopped Tziarra in her tracks with a slide tackle that had touched nothing but ball. It hadn’t felt wrong when she’d been signing autographs after the match and a little girl in a USWNT Sonnett jersey had eagerly informed her that she was her favorite player and she was so happy she got to watch her all the time now. It hadn’t felt wrong as she was walking into the tunnel with her new teammates, her new friends, her new found family. 

“I think it is,” Sonny replies. 

Kelley smiles. “Especially when I’m here?” she suggests, the fingers of one hand pressing down into her hip. 

Sonny grins broadly. “Of course. Everywhere is better with you.”

  
  


Sonny doesn’t like feeling small, but when she’s tucked into Kelley’s arms as the little spoon she doesn’t mind it so much. Maybe it’s because she feels like she’s larger than life, like she’s on top of the world. 

And she still wants. She wants Kelley in her arms as often as possible. She wants to secure a starting spot in Orlando. She wants to make it to the roster of the 2020 Olympics and get playing time. She wants to make it there with Kelley. She wants to kiss her with gold medals hanging around their necks. She wants to kiss her forever. She wants-

Well, she wants a lot of things.

But right now, in this moment, secure in who she is, in where she is, and being held by the woman she loves, she’s happy right where she is. 

  
  



End file.
